Hola Readers!
Now, as some of you may know, and perhaps are able to relate to, I live in Ottawa, and the most effective way to travel is by public transit and for a student it is about the only way to travel. Anyways, i take a bus at least twice a day, everyday of my life. My bus-ride to school usually takes about 45 minutes, which is a little ridiculous because it takes me ten minutes to drive there. but i am not here to rant and rave about the bus system...but perhaps i'll save that for another time. I'm going to tell you about an odd but funny situation that happens to me all the time on a bus. Now as i've explained, i take the bus frequently, and always at peak times it seems. because the buses are always packed. here's one situation i find myself in a lot. by the time my bus stop comes the bus is usually already full, so i end up standing...and at the front of the bus where there are no vertical poles to hold onto...only horizontal ones. and there are seats under those horizontal poles, facing sideways, not like regular bus seats do. these seats are meant for elderly people, pregnant women, and the seats fold up so that strollers and wheelchairs can have room on the bus. but, when those seats aren't occupied, anyone can sit there. and this is where my story begins. i usually end up standing awkwardly in front of someone, and their face is right at crotch level. and i never know what to do. should i converse with them, and try to get rid of some of the awkwardness? no i usually turn around, so they get to look at my ass. seems a little less intimate than a crotch stare-down. however, this isn't where the awkwardness stops. the bus goes around sharp corners and it causes the standing-riders to slip and slide around, and those in the front of the bus end up almost in the laps of the people sitting in front of them...either that or their ass goes in front of their face. So basically, the person gets a half-assed awkward lap dance of sorts....but it's free....so i guess they can't complain??!!?? I've also been on the receiving end of this lap-dance on a public bus....and i can tell you that it usually isn't as enjoyable as it seems...LMAO.
Situation number two:
The bus is less packed, there are still a few seats with only one person in it...and you are one of those people. when people get on the bus and pick a seat, you sigh in relief when they pick a different one than you are in, and you celebrate being able to sit alone and have some personal space. After a few more stops there are only a few seats left, and yours isn't taken...you start to panic mildly. Why is no one sitting with you? why are you repulsing them? If you are like me, in this situation, at about this time is when i start discreetly smelling myself, making sure i don't stink, thinking that that could be the reason i am being avoided. But as i shower every morning i don't stink and i start worrying about my facial expressions i'm making...perhaps it is those which are scaring away other passengers. needless to say i keep neurotically thinking of ways i could be offending or scaring people off until some passenger sits beside me...and then i ride contently for the rest of the trip.
i can't be the only one who goes through these thought process. let me know what u think lol
xoxoxo Becca
ohh ps. as i have recently started up on twitter again i encourage you to follow me. and look for my debut on Youtube coming soon.
my twitter is @BeccaC007
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
family
hey blogees.
i recntly found out that my unce has prostate cancer and it has developed, but we are hopeful that it was caught early enough so that his treatement will work and he will recover.
but in response to this news, i responded as most would imagine i would...by crying my eyes out and wondering why it had to by my uncle. He is a nice man, and family is important to him, and he's always been there for me and my immediate family whenever we needed anyhing at all. He is the oldest son in my Dad's family. He has four kids, and is a new grandpa, and i wondered about why is it that when life seems to be going good, and you are happy, that it decides to flip that all on its head. when my mother told me the news over the phone i went numb...my earlier complaints to her over having a cold seemed superficial and stupid. a few of my friends have lost loved ones to cancer, and i kept thinking about them, and even though it was a different type of cancer, the idea still scared the shit out of me. Cancer is an ugly word, apt for the ugly disease it describes.
I am angry too. for many reasons, i'm angry at myself for some things i said to my uncle that were perhaps not the kindest, and i regret every mean word i said to him or anyone else about him. I'm angry at the world, for allowing this to happen, and i guess God too, if he is out there. I'm angry at my uncle's doctor. Apparently my uncle's levels had been up for awhile, meaning he had the cancer for awhile, but the doctor did nothing about it until this summer, when he was diagnosed, and this allowed the cancer to develop more. it terrifies me. i couldn't imagine my life without my uncle, or for that matter anyone in my family.
My grandma is 87 years old. she is a sweet old lady, and has had a tough life, loosing my grandpa when she was about 57. her kids and grandkids are her life, and she loves us and we love her very much. my uncle didn't tell her yet, and i undersand why. she would be upset, perhaps more than the rest of us. she is old and the fear is that she wouldn't be able to handle the news....there is nothing she can do. and that would be hard for granny, she has done everything for herself, her entire life. to be helpless in this case would kill her, especially when her son is in trouble.
I think the helplessness i feel is the worst. i know that no matter what i do, no matter how hard i cry or how loud i scream, that it won't help...i can just let him know i love him, and remain positive for his sake. but for the last nine days since i found out, i've cried myself to sleep.
I love you uncle Paul, you are an amazing man and you are strong enough and stuborn enough (a family trait) to pull through this.
i am an optomist i truely believe that my uncle will pull through and our entire family will be stronger after the experience. I would like to dedicate this post to my family. every single cousin, and aunt, and my friends who i consider more family than anyhting else.
i love you all dearly and you have helped shape my life into what it is, and i wouldn't replace one of you, i would change nothing about any of you.
LOVE ALWAYS,
xoxoxoxo Becca
i recntly found out that my unce has prostate cancer and it has developed, but we are hopeful that it was caught early enough so that his treatement will work and he will recover.
but in response to this news, i responded as most would imagine i would...by crying my eyes out and wondering why it had to by my uncle. He is a nice man, and family is important to him, and he's always been there for me and my immediate family whenever we needed anyhing at all. He is the oldest son in my Dad's family. He has four kids, and is a new grandpa, and i wondered about why is it that when life seems to be going good, and you are happy, that it decides to flip that all on its head. when my mother told me the news over the phone i went numb...my earlier complaints to her over having a cold seemed superficial and stupid. a few of my friends have lost loved ones to cancer, and i kept thinking about them, and even though it was a different type of cancer, the idea still scared the shit out of me. Cancer is an ugly word, apt for the ugly disease it describes.
I am angry too. for many reasons, i'm angry at myself for some things i said to my uncle that were perhaps not the kindest, and i regret every mean word i said to him or anyone else about him. I'm angry at the world, for allowing this to happen, and i guess God too, if he is out there. I'm angry at my uncle's doctor. Apparently my uncle's levels had been up for awhile, meaning he had the cancer for awhile, but the doctor did nothing about it until this summer, when he was diagnosed, and this allowed the cancer to develop more. it terrifies me. i couldn't imagine my life without my uncle, or for that matter anyone in my family.
My grandma is 87 years old. she is a sweet old lady, and has had a tough life, loosing my grandpa when she was about 57. her kids and grandkids are her life, and she loves us and we love her very much. my uncle didn't tell her yet, and i undersand why. she would be upset, perhaps more than the rest of us. she is old and the fear is that she wouldn't be able to handle the news....there is nothing she can do. and that would be hard for granny, she has done everything for herself, her entire life. to be helpless in this case would kill her, especially when her son is in trouble.
I think the helplessness i feel is the worst. i know that no matter what i do, no matter how hard i cry or how loud i scream, that it won't help...i can just let him know i love him, and remain positive for his sake. but for the last nine days since i found out, i've cried myself to sleep.
I love you uncle Paul, you are an amazing man and you are strong enough and stuborn enough (a family trait) to pull through this.
i am an optomist i truely believe that my uncle will pull through and our entire family will be stronger after the experience. I would like to dedicate this post to my family. every single cousin, and aunt, and my friends who i consider more family than anyhting else.
i love you all dearly and you have helped shape my life into what it is, and i wouldn't replace one of you, i would change nothing about any of you.
LOVE ALWAYS,
xoxoxoxo Becca
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Canadian Bands
Good morning, eh!
LOL. i can't believe that some people actually think every Canadian uses that word "eh" all the time. i admit that i use it on occasion and don't even realise i used it. Despite this and our reputation for being overly nice i am proud of my heritage...maybe because of the things i mentioned? but nevertheless i would not want to be from anywhere but Canada. There are many reasons, but i will list my top few. We have sexy men...*cough* Ryan Reynolds *cough* and our bands are amazing...and if you read the title of this post you can probably guess which of these aspects of Canadian awesomeness i will discuss. I defiantly have a thing for Canadian bands...my two most favourite bands are Canadian. Billy Talent, and The Arkells. One is from Montreal and the other from Hamilton. They are awesome and i love them dearly....perhaps they are not your taste or you have never heard of them, and i would seriously advise you to look them up.
In case you aren't impressed with my top two here's a list of other Canadian bands i have on my ipod...i know i'm missing a lot but feel free to comment telling me your favourites.
abandon all ships
age of daze
alexisonfire
arcade fire
bare naked ladies
Cromeo
city and colour
san sebastian
Die Mannequin
down with webster
finger eleven
Glass Tiger
The Guess Who
Headstones
Hedley
IllScarlet
Matthew Good Band
Metric
Midway State
Mobile
New Cities
Neverending white lights
Nickelback
Priestess
Rush
Simple Plan
Tea Party
Tegan and Sara
Theory of a Deadman
Ten second epic
Three Days Grace
Tragically Hip
THe Trews
Treble CHarger
Woodhands---most of you wouldn't have heard of these guys but i heard them at bluesfest a few years back and fell in love
the list is nice and alphabeitical too!!! :) anyways, hope you enjoyed.
xoxoxo Becca
LOL. i can't believe that some people actually think every Canadian uses that word "eh" all the time. i admit that i use it on occasion and don't even realise i used it. Despite this and our reputation for being overly nice i am proud of my heritage...maybe because of the things i mentioned? but nevertheless i would not want to be from anywhere but Canada. There are many reasons, but i will list my top few. We have sexy men...*cough* Ryan Reynolds *cough* and our bands are amazing...and if you read the title of this post you can probably guess which of these aspects of Canadian awesomeness i will discuss. I defiantly have a thing for Canadian bands...my two most favourite bands are Canadian. Billy Talent, and The Arkells. One is from Montreal and the other from Hamilton. They are awesome and i love them dearly....perhaps they are not your taste or you have never heard of them, and i would seriously advise you to look them up.
In case you aren't impressed with my top two here's a list of other Canadian bands i have on my ipod...i know i'm missing a lot but feel free to comment telling me your favourites.
abandon all ships
age of daze
alexisonfire
arcade fire
bare naked ladies
Cromeo
city and colour
san sebastian
Die Mannequin
down with webster
finger eleven
Glass Tiger
The Guess Who
Headstones
Hedley
IllScarlet
Matthew Good Band
Metric
Midway State
Mobile
New Cities
Neverending white lights
Nickelback
Priestess
Rush
Simple Plan
Tea Party
Tegan and Sara
Theory of a Deadman
Ten second epic
Three Days Grace
Tragically Hip
THe Trews
Treble CHarger
Woodhands---most of you wouldn't have heard of these guys but i heard them at bluesfest a few years back and fell in love
the list is nice and alphabeitical too!!! :) anyways, hope you enjoyed.
xoxoxo Becca
Saturday, September 10, 2011
I'm Back
Hello readers. I feel like i should apologize once again for taking a four month hiatus. so I'm sorry. that's the last and final time i apologize...i promise. Anyways....in light of school starting and me having to run all over Ottawa to get to the random bookstores that my teacher's ordered my books from....i started thinking about books, and i could talk for ages about them. I am addicted to buying them and i am not ashamed to admit i spend more time reading than i do anything else in a day. However, to keep some readers from growing bored by my obsession and passion for books, i will talk about the related topic of movies....my brain makes that jump...hopefully yours does too. So here's a list of my top 10 favourite movies (p.s. i hate how if i spell favorite the Canadian way (favourite) it comes up as a spelling mistake). Perhaps when you are bored and have nothing better to do you can come back to this list and pick a movie to watch...and either critique and mock my taste or find a fine piece of cinema to add to your collection.
The list:
The list:
- Dracula. I'm sure this comes as no surprise to those who read my post on this history of vampires. I do have a near obsession with them. But i feel i should clarify. Dracula is a classic and irreplaceable piece of literature that has helped mold the novel into what it is today. Dracula is studied still and praised for it's literary genius. Now to get to the movie....the only version of this movie that i will watch again is the Dracula that was made in 1931 directed by Tod Browning. It stars Bela Lugosi as Dracula and Helen Chandler as Mina. This movie sticks to the book's plot line well and the actors do a great job of bringing the characters to life. The version of Dracula that I'm sure most of you have seen was made in the 90's, and stars Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder. This movie is sad...really. they change the plot of the book, and change the aspect of Mina's character so much that it sickens me. SO i would never recommend that one, but the one from the 1930's is defiantly solid.
- Thelma and Louise. I'm sure this one comes as no surprise either. But there is just something about two women, saying screw you to the patriarchal world and becoming bad-asses along the way just get my blood pumping. My favourite part of the movie is when Thelma and Louise punish the perverted Truck Driver and teach him a lesson he sure isn't soon to forget. It is a feminist classic, and a movie very close to my heart.
- Nightmare before Christmas. my favourite animated movie ever. Halloween just happens to be my favourite holiday of sorts. This merges Halloween and Christmas together, two amazing holidays two very different back-stories. The combination of a love story, and a feeling of dissatisfaction and identity crisis combined makes me love this movie even more. Is it weird that i am attracted to an animated character? Jack Skellington is my soul mate, I'm almost certain lol.
- Bridesmaids. This movie is hilarious. It contains the right amount of humor with some seriousness that keeps a person captivated. And the feeling of losing a best friend is something everyone has to deal with. Whether it's because that friend is getting married, moving away, or just that you are slipping away, it is something we have to deal with. Defiantly a solid comedy.
- Kick-ass. I have always been partial to super-hero movies. But this one has a twist. I love the nerdy characters that suck it up and contain deep courage. I love the modern twist on the superhero thing. The evil guy isn't a person bitter over an experiment accident, he is a mafia leader. Plus the daughter-father dynamic that is portrayed and explored in the movie is awesome.
- Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was revolutionary in its time and is still found shocking to some people. A room full of transvestites is sure to be a good time. explore the boundaries of sexuality and go to the "late night, double feature, picture show."
- Charlie's Angels. Three girls, kicking-ass....nuff said!
- Edward Scissorhands. If you haven't been able to tell yet i like movies with a twist...and what a twist this movie puts on suburbia. I love the awkward main character and the fact that women throw themselves on him. Johnny Deep plays the part awesomely, and the movie is so awesome.
- Sweeney Todd. a musical, yes i know. And i should inform you that i love musicals, but this one has a special place in my heart. it is dark and twisted and, like my favourite play, Phantom of the Opera, has a scared and tortured soul as its lead character. plus Snape is in there too,....being a perverted old man...love it. the meat pies are a nice touch too.
- Watchmen. Super-hero movie...with a hell of a twist. it blurs the lines between good and evil, showing that even super-hero's have a dark side, and no one is either entirely good or evil. I love movies like this, that make you question perceptions of things that you have taken for granted your entire existence.
Anywho...that's my list and let me know if you agree, or disagree with any of my choices....and be warned i will defend some of them vehemently
xoxoxoxo Becca
Thursday, August 25, 2011
My apologies!
Hey blog-followers...if there are any of you left. I am writing this short post to apologize for my lack of motivation to write here more often for you lovely people. It is the summer, and i have been busy but i haven't written a word since June....and i am frankly ashamed of myself. So to make up for my lack of good blog-hostessing (i dunno) i will share with you dreadfully awful poems i wrote a few years ago...go a head and laugh all you want. I deserve it after leaving you hanging for two months. I promise to try to write more often once I'm back at school and come up with witty posts and fun things like my Lady Gaga and Vampires posts---those are my favourites. (ps i know that sounds horrible. i have more time to blog when I'm in school...shouldn't i be studying or something more productive?) So please forgive me and here are the poems for your literary pleasure (or horror).
XOXOXO Becca
"Why Waste Time"
Why is life a constant battle?
When everyone knows that we can’t win.
We all end up in the same place, depending on our sins.
We are all so busy,
But where do we have to go?
When all we really end up,
Is buried beneath the snow.
Live life to the fullest,
Because you never know when its gone,
Look for angles among us,
Because they’re there,
Whether a friend, or someone you have never met.
Take time to appreciate things,
Tell those you love that you care.
Because you might not have the chance again,
And it’s something you should share.
Love Poem?
the monster bears its teeth,
my throat dries up like a husk,
it lunges and bites,
breaks the thread of hope i was holding on to
now i free fall....
XOXOXO Becca
"Why Waste Time"
Why is life a constant battle?
When everyone knows that we can’t win.
We all end up in the same place, depending on our sins.
We are all so busy,
But where do we have to go?
When all we really end up,
Is buried beneath the snow.
Live life to the fullest,
Because you never know when its gone,
Look for angles among us,
Because they’re there,
Whether a friend, or someone you have never met.
Take time to appreciate things,
Tell those you love that you care.
Because you might not have the chance again,
And it’s something you should share.
Love Poem?
the monster bears its teeth,
my throat dries up like a husk,
it lunges and bites,
breaks the thread of hope i was holding on to
now i free fall....
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Growing up in a small town part 1
So as the title implies, this will be a multi-post rant about growing up in a small town.
So this first segment will be about teen pregnancy. Its common in a small town....and its kind of scary when you really think about statistics behind it. I live in Renfrew County....the apparent Teenage Pregnancy Capital of Canada....FTW..... anyways. I am totally cool with pregnancy when it is planned and you can support a child...but in most cases that is not the scenario. Now, in Pembroke, where i grew up, there are four elementary schools, three public and one catholic. The school I went to was seen as the Ghetto school...and i must admit it was kinda sketchy. We had locker searches for drugs in like grade 5....and fights like everyday...even me...a puny little non-physical kid almost got in a fight once or twice. So it really doesn't come as a surprise that our elementary school produced the most teen mothers in later years....and a fair number of high school dropouts. I know that some of you are saying that it wasn't their plan to get preggo....but in some cases it was. I heard on TV that now teenage girls are making pregnancy pacts.....to all get preggers at the same time! what happened to university pacts? or just plain old friendship pacts? It kind of disturbs me but also fills me with pride in myself to see that I made it out in a sense. I graduated.... not pregnant thank you...and am going into second year university. i beat the small town vortex...
That being said....i just am not ready to be a mother. some teenage women are ready and i say kudos to you. and i hope all the teenage mothers, either through planned or unplanned pregnancies, have wonderful happy lives with healthy and happy children.
XOXO Becca
So this first segment will be about teen pregnancy. Its common in a small town....and its kind of scary when you really think about statistics behind it. I live in Renfrew County....the apparent Teenage Pregnancy Capital of Canada....FTW..... anyways. I am totally cool with pregnancy when it is planned and you can support a child...but in most cases that is not the scenario. Now, in Pembroke, where i grew up, there are four elementary schools, three public and one catholic. The school I went to was seen as the Ghetto school...and i must admit it was kinda sketchy. We had locker searches for drugs in like grade 5....and fights like everyday...even me...a puny little non-physical kid almost got in a fight once or twice. So it really doesn't come as a surprise that our elementary school produced the most teen mothers in later years....and a fair number of high school dropouts. I know that some of you are saying that it wasn't their plan to get preggo....but in some cases it was. I heard on TV that now teenage girls are making pregnancy pacts.....to all get preggers at the same time! what happened to university pacts? or just plain old friendship pacts? It kind of disturbs me but also fills me with pride in myself to see that I made it out in a sense. I graduated.... not pregnant thank you...and am going into second year university. i beat the small town vortex...
That being said....i just am not ready to be a mother. some teenage women are ready and i say kudos to you. and i hope all the teenage mothers, either through planned or unplanned pregnancies, have wonderful happy lives with healthy and happy children.
XOXO Becca
Thursday, May 12, 2011
confession
Hi guys. So as you can see by the title of this post i will be confessing something. I'm sure some women are with me in this secret addiction. My days are sometimes planned around my addiction, and it influences my dreams and i tend to bring it up in conversation....my addiction is......
WEDDING SHOWS.
Yes I know, lame and stereotypical as that is, it's true. I love watching them, from Say Yes to the dress, Wedding SOS and four weddings, i love almost every wedding show....that I've seen anyways. See i was an odd child, i didn't dream of getting married to a prince, or becoming a princess when i was younger, i wanted to be a veterinarian or a librarian (my love of books started at a very early age). So I think now at this point in my life, because i hadn't already done so, I've become obsessed with planning my wedding. Perhaps its just having too much spare time on my hands, or my subconscious telling me that i really do want a relationship--which i don't believe i do, but whatever the cause it is my recent obsession...along with many other things such as the song Fake Drugs by Hollerado....yes there is my shameless plug for today. Now, most people believe that the wedding is for the bride, and the groom is barely anything more than a prop. I disagree. I think that the groom should have input too....as long as he doesn't end up dashing or distorting the bride's dream day horribly. I love weddings because it is a joyful time and you get to see family and friends that you might not otherwise see....really its just a big party. Crazy shit goes down at weddings, well the ones I've been to at least, and that may say something about the company i keep lol. They are always fun and if its your wedding, you remember that day for the rest of your life.
Now i will divulge my secret dream for a wedding....well one that I've established so far. Firstly is the matter of the dress. Although i haven't tried any wedding dresses on, and therefore do not know how that particular style of dress would fit on my body, i do have a style in mind. I want a dropped waist gown, I also want hints of black or red on it....depending on what colour of dresses my bridesmaids were wearing. The hints of colour could be a ribbon in the middle, or any other way to add some colour to the dress. The ribbon would be black if my bridesmaids were going to wear deep purple, my favorite colour. However, I have also entertained the idea that red is a beautiful colour as well, and i may just put my bridesmaids in that colour, and then my ribbon or detailing on my dress would match them....see i don't have everything planned out perfectly yet...lol. Next is the cake. I want a three tier cake. I want red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. The cake will be covered in white fondant and designed with back icing designs. I also either want red, or dark purple edible flowers on the cake as well. The last area that I've decided on is the season. I want a winter wedding, and to be brought in riding a hoarse drawn sleigh....which is particularly strange because i am a summer baby, perhaps that is why i have such a fascination with winter?? anyways, i do not want the wedding close to Christmas, so i think sometime mid to late February would suit best. See i don't have every detail planned, but i have an idea of what i want, and i realise that I'm missing the most important aspect...the groom, but i have years until I'll be ready for marriage, and perhaps by that point i will have found someone...If not I'll still throw my wedding, minus the ceremony and just have the party! lol. I do expect my addiction to wane overtime, and will fade eventually, but for right now it suits me just fine.
But, i do have CONTROL on my addiction. I do not let it interfere with my life too much, and i didn't disrupt my sleep habits to get up and watch the royal wedding....a point of pride for me. I caught the highlights and watched most of it at a later time, when it was actually suitable for my person to be awake. lol
anyways, a personal post, letting you get to know me more. even some of my closest friends were not aware of my addiction, and now I've told the world---well whoever reads this anyways. lol anyways enjoy your week. I know i will with the sun beating down on me and the weather starting to feel like summer :)
xoxo
Becca
WEDDING SHOWS.
Yes I know, lame and stereotypical as that is, it's true. I love watching them, from Say Yes to the dress, Wedding SOS and four weddings, i love almost every wedding show....that I've seen anyways. See i was an odd child, i didn't dream of getting married to a prince, or becoming a princess when i was younger, i wanted to be a veterinarian or a librarian (my love of books started at a very early age). So I think now at this point in my life, because i hadn't already done so, I've become obsessed with planning my wedding. Perhaps its just having too much spare time on my hands, or my subconscious telling me that i really do want a relationship--which i don't believe i do, but whatever the cause it is my recent obsession...along with many other things such as the song Fake Drugs by Hollerado....yes there is my shameless plug for today. Now, most people believe that the wedding is for the bride, and the groom is barely anything more than a prop. I disagree. I think that the groom should have input too....as long as he doesn't end up dashing or distorting the bride's dream day horribly. I love weddings because it is a joyful time and you get to see family and friends that you might not otherwise see....really its just a big party. Crazy shit goes down at weddings, well the ones I've been to at least, and that may say something about the company i keep lol. They are always fun and if its your wedding, you remember that day for the rest of your life.
Now i will divulge my secret dream for a wedding....well one that I've established so far. Firstly is the matter of the dress. Although i haven't tried any wedding dresses on, and therefore do not know how that particular style of dress would fit on my body, i do have a style in mind. I want a dropped waist gown, I also want hints of black or red on it....depending on what colour of dresses my bridesmaids were wearing. The hints of colour could be a ribbon in the middle, or any other way to add some colour to the dress. The ribbon would be black if my bridesmaids were going to wear deep purple, my favorite colour. However, I have also entertained the idea that red is a beautiful colour as well, and i may just put my bridesmaids in that colour, and then my ribbon or detailing on my dress would match them....see i don't have everything planned out perfectly yet...lol. Next is the cake. I want a three tier cake. I want red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. The cake will be covered in white fondant and designed with back icing designs. I also either want red, or dark purple edible flowers on the cake as well. The last area that I've decided on is the season. I want a winter wedding, and to be brought in riding a hoarse drawn sleigh....which is particularly strange because i am a summer baby, perhaps that is why i have such a fascination with winter?? anyways, i do not want the wedding close to Christmas, so i think sometime mid to late February would suit best. See i don't have every detail planned, but i have an idea of what i want, and i realise that I'm missing the most important aspect...the groom, but i have years until I'll be ready for marriage, and perhaps by that point i will have found someone...If not I'll still throw my wedding, minus the ceremony and just have the party! lol. I do expect my addiction to wane overtime, and will fade eventually, but for right now it suits me just fine.
But, i do have CONTROL on my addiction. I do not let it interfere with my life too much, and i didn't disrupt my sleep habits to get up and watch the royal wedding....a point of pride for me. I caught the highlights and watched most of it at a later time, when it was actually suitable for my person to be awake. lol
anyways, a personal post, letting you get to know me more. even some of my closest friends were not aware of my addiction, and now I've told the world---well whoever reads this anyways. lol anyways enjoy your week. I know i will with the sun beating down on me and the weather starting to feel like summer :)
xoxo
Becca
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
a medly of shit
Hey so i haven't posted since i finished university. Update about my life first off. main development....I got a job! i've only worked for three days so i'm still finding it fun and i hope it stays that way. i work outside of pembroke on the quebec side. its a small smalll place. the regulars are there everyday and some are a little scary but most seem nice...from what i've been informed its a little incestuous there and it kinda scares me because i'm new meat lol. perhaps i'll have a marriage proposal by the end of the summer lol!
but what really motivated me to write is the election that we had yesterday. first off i would like to inform the public that the conservatives got in again....and it bothers me...stephen harper was held in contempt of parliment yet we vote him in again and practically tell him that it is ok for lying to us and deciding that we don't deserve to know what is going on in parliment and the government. Iggy isn't much more appealing. everyone thinks he is an american and who wants an american running canada? its sad because from talking to people i came under the impression that the liberals would have done much better if someone other than Iggy had been the leader. I am not telling you that the conservatives or liberals are bad parties and i'm not trying to influence your political decisions but i just don't believe that a person should be rewarded for lying to the country.
in my riding, the conservatives won as well. Cherryl Gallent was re-elected. even though she has shown that she is not the best person for the job. her infamous speech to the newfoundlanders about the sea death of their loved ones. she blamed them for the deaths because "in ontario, like on the ottawa river, we don't call the coast guard for help"....defiantly not one of her most shining moments. she is put under gag order every election period. so i just don't understand.
ok there is my political rant. im not revealing my political stripes or what party i agree with im just pointing out facts.....if u disagree please let me know and we can have an intellectual debate.
xoxo Becca
but what really motivated me to write is the election that we had yesterday. first off i would like to inform the public that the conservatives got in again....and it bothers me...stephen harper was held in contempt of parliment yet we vote him in again and practically tell him that it is ok for lying to us and deciding that we don't deserve to know what is going on in parliment and the government. Iggy isn't much more appealing. everyone thinks he is an american and who wants an american running canada? its sad because from talking to people i came under the impression that the liberals would have done much better if someone other than Iggy had been the leader. I am not telling you that the conservatives or liberals are bad parties and i'm not trying to influence your political decisions but i just don't believe that a person should be rewarded for lying to the country.
in my riding, the conservatives won as well. Cherryl Gallent was re-elected. even though she has shown that she is not the best person for the job. her infamous speech to the newfoundlanders about the sea death of their loved ones. she blamed them for the deaths because "in ontario, like on the ottawa river, we don't call the coast guard for help"....defiantly not one of her most shining moments. she is put under gag order every election period. so i just don't understand.
ok there is my political rant. im not revealing my political stripes or what party i agree with im just pointing out facts.....if u disagree please let me know and we can have an intellectual debate.
xoxo Becca
Monday, April 18, 2011
end of first year
So as I finished my last exam last friday night, I came to realise that I am done. I have successfully completed my first year of university. It seems almost surreal that it is over, and it seems as though it has gone by way to quickly. I'm in a little bit of a state of shock. As you can imagine, for the past month i have been insanely busy, whether working on multiple essays or studying or writing exams i always had something i should be doing. However, now that all that is over, as my first year is done, I am at a loss of what to do with myself. I feel as though i don't have a purpose any longer. I'm sure that will change and i will envy my time of nothingness when i start my summer job, but for now i feel almost empty inside.
Having a four month summer worries me for a couple of reasons. firstly my brain went to mush in a two month summer....next September is going to be brutal. secondly, it was hard enough keeping in contact with everyone over a two month summer, and who lived in the same city as I do. This is different now as all of my friends i have made this year live in other places, most in the Toronto area. I know it will be similar to leaving my friends behind as i did in September when i first came to university. It feels different though, as I was leaving behind more than just my friends. I was leaving behind my old life. I have created something new for myself in Ottawa, and i wonder if leaving these friends will feel like i am leaving my new self and going back to my old self....i guess we will see.
anyways, to change up the beat of this post....I'm currently working on cover letters to send with my resume to random places and cross my fingers to get a job. i have huge plans for next year particularily reading week, but that all hinges on the amount of money i earn for myself this summer. and because the price of gas is soooo high its necessary to have a job that earns you big bucks. lol. i'm tired of cover letters and my resume is as week as shit lol. whateves it will all work out i'm sure. although i've only been home for about 29 hours and am already being driven insane by my family. lol c'est la vie!
xoxoxo
Becca
ps.....i would appreciate comments from readers if there really are any. it kinda validates my blog in a way lol. I promise i'm nice and i don't bite....not hard anyways :p lol
Having a four month summer worries me for a couple of reasons. firstly my brain went to mush in a two month summer....next September is going to be brutal. secondly, it was hard enough keeping in contact with everyone over a two month summer, and who lived in the same city as I do. This is different now as all of my friends i have made this year live in other places, most in the Toronto area. I know it will be similar to leaving my friends behind as i did in September when i first came to university. It feels different though, as I was leaving behind more than just my friends. I was leaving behind my old life. I have created something new for myself in Ottawa, and i wonder if leaving these friends will feel like i am leaving my new self and going back to my old self....i guess we will see.
anyways, to change up the beat of this post....I'm currently working on cover letters to send with my resume to random places and cross my fingers to get a job. i have huge plans for next year particularily reading week, but that all hinges on the amount of money i earn for myself this summer. and because the price of gas is soooo high its necessary to have a job that earns you big bucks. lol. i'm tired of cover letters and my resume is as week as shit lol. whateves it will all work out i'm sure. although i've only been home for about 29 hours and am already being driven insane by my family. lol c'est la vie!
xoxoxo
Becca
ps.....i would appreciate comments from readers if there really are any. it kinda validates my blog in a way lol. I promise i'm nice and i don't bite....not hard anyways :p lol
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Mother Monster
So I've wanted to write about Lady Gaga on here since going to her concert in early march....which was amazing!! but i figured that just raving about a concert wouldn't create a substantial enough blog post. I was inspired again today in my women and gender studies class when we discussed post-feminism. Lady gaga is a feminist, an inspiring fact.
I think she is the sexiest woman ever...and most males wouldn't agree with me. she is sexy and feminine and powerful and for those who don't know me well enough to already know this, i am heterosexual but if i ever had the chance to sleep with Lady Gaga i would jump on it.
She is inspirational and talented. at her concert her mike cut out and stopped working, and she said, "At least you all know i don't fucking lip sink." she doesn't wear things to make her look beautiful, every outfit she wears makes a statement. She walks a thin line between desirable and grotesque she is openly sexual and not everything she does is for a male gaze.
most people who claim to love lady gaga still can't make sense of Lady Gaga's video for her song Telephone. I'll admit that I too was confused and a little intimidated by the video. The cheesy lines, the bad acting would be enough to turn any viewer off of the video...but not me. After doing feminist perspective film reviews for my women and gender studies class a few things in the video started to make sense and after some further research into her video it actually is a great feminist testament. I'll lay out a few examples, although I will not cover them all i am sure here is a list i have compiled:
1. The Pussy Wagon: for those who have seen Kill Bill, you will recognize the pussy wagon. it is a bright yellow truck, who was driven by an pig asshole. Gaga and Beyonce reinvent the pussy wagon for themselves, making it positive feminist image instead of negative.
2. body as a crime scene--makes a statement to violence against women
3. Thelma and Louise reference---the holding hands while driving references one of the movies that is held closest to hte hearts of feminists.
4. Heather Cassils---Canadian body builder---reinventing females and blurring gender lines with her masculine appearance. and blurring Gaga's sexuality.
5. butch body guards---changing the use of "video ho's"
6. eating the bun--this is not sexy...and they know it. its "sexy" when girls lick ice cream or eat some other food seductively Beyonce and Gaga are recognizing the regular music video occurrence and flipping it upside down
7. killing abusive rude boyfriend---ha ha asshole! don't be rude and steal your girlfriend's honey.
8. the image of the 1950's housewife---Lady Gaga's cooking outfit is reminiscent of a 50's housewife image, minus the bright blue telephone hat...they challenge that gender role
9.the poisoning of the honey---this could be symbolic of the fact that Gaga and Beyonce aren't going to conform to the sweet girl standards society has
10. "told you she doesn't have a dick"--statement about the rumours of her being a hermaphrodite
11. wonder woman---they dress like reinterpretations of wonder women. bringing to mind saving the young people from over consumption and the gender lines are blurred.
12. Gaga in her cheetah outfit---reminiscent of Shaina Twain, its a pussy's world and she's in control of it.
so needless to say...I LOVE LADY GAGA!! and if she ever comes back to ottawa again i will see her....even though i've seen her twice already.
xoxoxo
Becca
ps. I looked at where my views are coming from and i've got two page views from europe!! so cool lol.
I think she is the sexiest woman ever...and most males wouldn't agree with me. she is sexy and feminine and powerful and for those who don't know me well enough to already know this, i am heterosexual but if i ever had the chance to sleep with Lady Gaga i would jump on it.
She is inspirational and talented. at her concert her mike cut out and stopped working, and she said, "At least you all know i don't fucking lip sink." she doesn't wear things to make her look beautiful, every outfit she wears makes a statement. She walks a thin line between desirable and grotesque she is openly sexual and not everything she does is for a male gaze.
most people who claim to love lady gaga still can't make sense of Lady Gaga's video for her song Telephone. I'll admit that I too was confused and a little intimidated by the video. The cheesy lines, the bad acting would be enough to turn any viewer off of the video...but not me. After doing feminist perspective film reviews for my women and gender studies class a few things in the video started to make sense and after some further research into her video it actually is a great feminist testament. I'll lay out a few examples, although I will not cover them all i am sure here is a list i have compiled:
1. The Pussy Wagon: for those who have seen Kill Bill, you will recognize the pussy wagon. it is a bright yellow truck, who was driven by an pig asshole. Gaga and Beyonce reinvent the pussy wagon for themselves, making it positive feminist image instead of negative.
2. body as a crime scene--makes a statement to violence against women
3. Thelma and Louise reference---the holding hands while driving references one of the movies that is held closest to hte hearts of feminists.
4. Heather Cassils---Canadian body builder---reinventing females and blurring gender lines with her masculine appearance. and blurring Gaga's sexuality.
5. butch body guards---changing the use of "video ho's"
6. eating the bun--this is not sexy...and they know it. its "sexy" when girls lick ice cream or eat some other food seductively Beyonce and Gaga are recognizing the regular music video occurrence and flipping it upside down
7. killing abusive rude boyfriend---ha ha asshole! don't be rude and steal your girlfriend's honey.
8. the image of the 1950's housewife---Lady Gaga's cooking outfit is reminiscent of a 50's housewife image, minus the bright blue telephone hat...they challenge that gender role
9.the poisoning of the honey---this could be symbolic of the fact that Gaga and Beyonce aren't going to conform to the sweet girl standards society has
10. "told you she doesn't have a dick"--statement about the rumours of her being a hermaphrodite
11. wonder woman---they dress like reinterpretations of wonder women. bringing to mind saving the young people from over consumption and the gender lines are blurred.
12. Gaga in her cheetah outfit---reminiscent of Shaina Twain, its a pussy's world and she's in control of it.
so needless to say...I LOVE LADY GAGA!! and if she ever comes back to ottawa again i will see her....even though i've seen her twice already.
xoxoxo
Becca
ps. I looked at where my views are coming from and i've got two page views from europe!! so cool lol.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Vampires
I know what you all are thinking....here's another vampire-crazed girl....and you are right to an extent. i do love vampires...I always have. I've had a fascination with them for as long as I can remember. I remember my first vampire book that I read, when i was about seven years old.I forget the name of the book but it talked about a young boy who was a vampire and struggled to keep it from his friends. It didn't deal with the issues that come up in vampire novels for adults but it still started my 'blood lust' for vampires.
Vampires have been around forever, although not always in the same form. In almost every society in existence had an adaptation of the vampire. The vampire was a scapegoat for the ills of that society. when crops wouldn't grow, or people would get sick, with what we now would say was plague, the myth of the vampire would fire up again, and take the blame for the harsh times.
In older days when a vampire's presence would be suggested, people would go and dig up recently dead people, to see if they were the vampires. They validated their suspicions through simple tests. if the corpse's teeth were elongated, and if the fingernails and hair looked longer.---contrary to popular belief, vampire's did not look like a living human, but more a corpse that could walk...more like a zombie.---but lets go back to their "fool-proof" vampire tests. when decomposition starts skin starts to shrivel and peel back, making the hair appear longer, and the nails appear longer. the gums also shrivel back, making the teeth look unnaturally elongated....so were the dead bodies they mutilated with stakes and cutting off heads really vampires?? I doubt it highly.
The first time these vampire myths were combined to create a complete being was in Bram Stoker's Dracula---coincidentally my favorite book. Stoker's Dracula was unnattractive, scary looking, and inellequant. He was a foreigner, in a time when England was wary of them, especially from the east--which is where Transelvania is located. Also...there is something sexy about a vampire sucking your blood....and that is what it's supposed to be. As we learned when we studied Dracula in english this year....Dracula's fangs are a phallic symbol. The fangs penetrate the skin....a little erotic really. Also, in this novel Stoker brings to mind to growing fear of syphillis that was growing in england at the time. This disease spreading is shown through the spreading of the "vampireness." Through this novel a few weapons to fight the vampire were credited. Firstly was the idea of a cruifix to ward them away. also the use of garlic to protect yourself against vampires. The last is driving the stake through the heart of the sleeping vampire, and if necessary cutting off its head.
Some of you are thinking, "wait, what about the sunlight thing?" well i have an answer for that. the sensitivity to sunlight part of the myth didn't come about until the vampire made it into the movies. the first 'Dracula' movie was made in Germany. this vampire was made to represent the first world war and its effects on Germany. This movie was called "Nosfuratu". He looked like he was half-rat and half human....creepy for sure. it was this movie that introduced the idea that vampires couldn't go out in the sun, or they would burn into dust.
Next came Hollywood's time to shine. They scooped up the vampire hype and changed the myth again...in a way to attract more fans....they made the vampire handsome and charming, and that set women's loins on fire....still do. They made this vampire's pursuit of blood more like a romance between the vampire and the woman.
Something was missing though, the insight into the vampire. Anne Rice fixed this with her books, most notably her book "Interview with the vampire." she looked into the vampires, and their feelings and moral dilemma's towards being a vampire and asked the question, if vampires could be good people behind their monstrous need for human blood? I love these books too....and yes i have read them all.
Now we get to twilight, which i hate. ohhh all you twihards will be hate mailing me if you read this. but seriously, i love the idea of the sensitive vampire, one who wishes he was human again, that's cool. but what i don't like is the fact that she completely discredited all other vampire myths of garlic, sunlight, crucifix, and made her vampires invincible to humans. and don't get me started on the sickeningly subservient Bella....she's too self-sacrificing to be real.
I think that vampire myths will always be around, and i just hope that some stick true to the traditions of vampires, so we don't lose sight of its roots. Yes i am a fangirl of vampires, all works and movies, but at least i'm educated, and am not just in love with vampires because i want an "Edward Cullen".
Love vamps.
xoxoxo
Becca
Ps. i'm going to list my fav vampire books below. i'll cut them down to my top 5
1. Dracula
2. Interview with the Vampire---or any other book written by Anne Rice
3. Midnight Guardian
4. Dracula the undead---written by Darce Stoker--Bram's great great grand nephew...or somehting like that
5. any book in the vampire accademy series---read them all.
Vampires have been around forever, although not always in the same form. In almost every society in existence had an adaptation of the vampire. The vampire was a scapegoat for the ills of that society. when crops wouldn't grow, or people would get sick, with what we now would say was plague, the myth of the vampire would fire up again, and take the blame for the harsh times.
In older days when a vampire's presence would be suggested, people would go and dig up recently dead people, to see if they were the vampires. They validated their suspicions through simple tests. if the corpse's teeth were elongated, and if the fingernails and hair looked longer.---contrary to popular belief, vampire's did not look like a living human, but more a corpse that could walk...more like a zombie.---but lets go back to their "fool-proof" vampire tests. when decomposition starts skin starts to shrivel and peel back, making the hair appear longer, and the nails appear longer. the gums also shrivel back, making the teeth look unnaturally elongated....so were the dead bodies they mutilated with stakes and cutting off heads really vampires?? I doubt it highly.
The first time these vampire myths were combined to create a complete being was in Bram Stoker's Dracula---coincidentally my favorite book. Stoker's Dracula was unnattractive, scary looking, and inellequant. He was a foreigner, in a time when England was wary of them, especially from the east--which is where Transelvania is located. Also...there is something sexy about a vampire sucking your blood....and that is what it's supposed to be. As we learned when we studied Dracula in english this year....Dracula's fangs are a phallic symbol. The fangs penetrate the skin....a little erotic really. Also, in this novel Stoker brings to mind to growing fear of syphillis that was growing in england at the time. This disease spreading is shown through the spreading of the "vampireness." Through this novel a few weapons to fight the vampire were credited. Firstly was the idea of a cruifix to ward them away. also the use of garlic to protect yourself against vampires. The last is driving the stake through the heart of the sleeping vampire, and if necessary cutting off its head.
Some of you are thinking, "wait, what about the sunlight thing?" well i have an answer for that. the sensitivity to sunlight part of the myth didn't come about until the vampire made it into the movies. the first 'Dracula' movie was made in Germany. this vampire was made to represent the first world war and its effects on Germany. This movie was called "Nosfuratu". He looked like he was half-rat and half human....creepy for sure. it was this movie that introduced the idea that vampires couldn't go out in the sun, or they would burn into dust.
Next came Hollywood's time to shine. They scooped up the vampire hype and changed the myth again...in a way to attract more fans....they made the vampire handsome and charming, and that set women's loins on fire....still do. They made this vampire's pursuit of blood more like a romance between the vampire and the woman.
Something was missing though, the insight into the vampire. Anne Rice fixed this with her books, most notably her book "Interview with the vampire." she looked into the vampires, and their feelings and moral dilemma's towards being a vampire and asked the question, if vampires could be good people behind their monstrous need for human blood? I love these books too....and yes i have read them all.
Now we get to twilight, which i hate. ohhh all you twihards will be hate mailing me if you read this. but seriously, i love the idea of the sensitive vampire, one who wishes he was human again, that's cool. but what i don't like is the fact that she completely discredited all other vampire myths of garlic, sunlight, crucifix, and made her vampires invincible to humans. and don't get me started on the sickeningly subservient Bella....she's too self-sacrificing to be real.
I think that vampire myths will always be around, and i just hope that some stick true to the traditions of vampires, so we don't lose sight of its roots. Yes i am a fangirl of vampires, all works and movies, but at least i'm educated, and am not just in love with vampires because i want an "Edward Cullen".
Love vamps.
xoxoxo
Becca
Ps. i'm going to list my fav vampire books below. i'll cut them down to my top 5
1. Dracula
2. Interview with the Vampire---or any other book written by Anne Rice
3. Midnight Guardian
4. Dracula the undead---written by Darce Stoker--Bram's great great grand nephew...or somehting like that
5. any book in the vampire accademy series---read them all.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Long overdue
After having a heart to heart with my friends about my blog this morning, Bill motivated me to post again, and stop my writing hiatus. Really i could use the excuse that i was busy but that isn't really true. I found time to watch TV and do other things so i'll get right to the issue of sorts. i didn't post because i didn't feel like i was letting anyone down by not posting. i checked my stats earlier in the week and this justified my hiatus, as my newest posts hadn't gotten any views, and now they have had one each...so thank you to that one viewer of my blog. Anyways, I'm choosing to keep writing because i didn't start this blog to make friends, but to get my thoughts out and perhaps be able to look at my issues in a different light. So be prepared, if you still choose to read on occasion. Welcome to my blog....MY BLOG!
I'm tired, tired of trying to please people and working my ass off towards it and getting nothing in return. What is really bothering me at the moment is my so called "friends" from back home. were they really friends? That is what my mind has been turning over and over. When i came to university, I expected to keep in close contact to most of them but despite my herculian effort at the begining of the year....most of which has stopped, no one cared enough to return my effort. I wasn't asking a lot, just that if say i sent you a text, text back, or if i wrote you on facebook, write back...I really don't think i was asking too much. Now, i should clarify, that some of the people keep in contact with me as much as they can, and I am soo happy that they return my effort. Friendship is best maintaned when both parties put the effort in. And I am surprised by the people that do keep in contact. When i left Pembroke last summer i figured that some people wouldn't keep in contact, because we were not that close, and our friendship would slowly fizzle away and die....but it was those people who choose not to let it die. Unlike people i considered myself close to, these people gave a shit about my life and thought maintaining our friendsthip was worthwhile.
This summer will be interesting. I choose not to pretend to be friends with people that don't really give a rats ass about me, and instead choose to spend my precious time with people who care.
So for any fake friends that may read this in the future...
FUCK YOU!
xoxoxo
Becca
I'm tired, tired of trying to please people and working my ass off towards it and getting nothing in return. What is really bothering me at the moment is my so called "friends" from back home. were they really friends? That is what my mind has been turning over and over. When i came to university, I expected to keep in close contact to most of them but despite my herculian effort at the begining of the year....most of which has stopped, no one cared enough to return my effort. I wasn't asking a lot, just that if say i sent you a text, text back, or if i wrote you on facebook, write back...I really don't think i was asking too much. Now, i should clarify, that some of the people keep in contact with me as much as they can, and I am soo happy that they return my effort. Friendship is best maintaned when both parties put the effort in. And I am surprised by the people that do keep in contact. When i left Pembroke last summer i figured that some people wouldn't keep in contact, because we were not that close, and our friendship would slowly fizzle away and die....but it was those people who choose not to let it die. Unlike people i considered myself close to, these people gave a shit about my life and thought maintaining our friendsthip was worthwhile.
This summer will be interesting. I choose not to pretend to be friends with people that don't really give a rats ass about me, and instead choose to spend my precious time with people who care.
So for any fake friends that may read this in the future...
FUCK YOU!
xoxoxo
Becca
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
one life
Yesterday was the aniversary of the death of my cousin Lory. she was a young adolescent when she died in a car accident. I never met her, as she died before i was born. She would be around 37 if she was still alive right now. i decided to write about this because even though years have passed, her death still affects the lives of the people who knew her.
I don't think you ever get over the death of a loved one. Their memories and lessons they taught you linger in your heart and mind forever.
Last year i lost two people i knew. We weren't close friends but still their deaths impacted me. It made me realise how mortal we actually are and that life is too short to waste worrying about the future all the time. You need to have fun while you are young, experience things, and do spontaneous and crazy things that make you smile and fuck the people who judge you for it.
Thats why i do stupid and crazy things, I don't regret anything in my life because every experience, friensthip, hardship, moment, shaped me into who I am today. and I like who I am.
I'd just like to thank everyone who helped me make me who I am today. Everyone has impacted me and i've impacted you in some way too.
So just hold your friends and family close, and let them know how much you love them and appreciate their presence in your life. Have fun and experience things, don't worry and fret your life away. Life is too short and you ae not given a second chance. have no regrets and keep your heart open to new people. even though it may hurt you will beinfit from it in the end.
RIP Lory, Mike, Emily.
You are missed.
xoxo.
Becca
I don't think you ever get over the death of a loved one. Their memories and lessons they taught you linger in your heart and mind forever.
Last year i lost two people i knew. We weren't close friends but still their deaths impacted me. It made me realise how mortal we actually are and that life is too short to waste worrying about the future all the time. You need to have fun while you are young, experience things, and do spontaneous and crazy things that make you smile and fuck the people who judge you for it.
Thats why i do stupid and crazy things, I don't regret anything in my life because every experience, friensthip, hardship, moment, shaped me into who I am today. and I like who I am.
I'd just like to thank everyone who helped me make me who I am today. Everyone has impacted me and i've impacted you in some way too.
So just hold your friends and family close, and let them know how much you love them and appreciate their presence in your life. Have fun and experience things, don't worry and fret your life away. Life is too short and you ae not given a second chance. have no regrets and keep your heart open to new people. even though it may hurt you will beinfit from it in the end.
RIP Lory, Mike, Emily.
You are missed.
xoxo.
Becca
Saturday, March 5, 2011
SPIDERMAN!!!
Hi blog followers!
Keeping with the general subject of love from my last post, I will let you in on a semi-secret (only if u really know me you would know this) of mine. I am in love with Spiderman. Now i know what you all are thinking....he's a fictional character....but that didn't stop girls from falling in love with Edward from Twilight. And at least in Spiderman's story, it’s not mythical powers that give him his superhuman abilities...but a fluke scientific accident of sorts.
Spiderman is two people in one, the nerdy Peter Parker, and the crime-fighting superhero....and i love both of these parts....especially the nerdy part. I have a thing for the endearing nerdy type....and Peter Parker embodies that entirely. I love dorks, and nerds but they have to have a few qualities that keep them from playing dungeons and dragons in their basement forever lol. I love smarts in a man....and Peter defiantly has those.
Peter is dedicated. He is working at the newspaper, and does well in school...which in itself is pretty good....but then on top of that...he saves the city from bad guys. That's impressive as hell. And also the effort that it must take in order for him to keep his alternate life secret is commendable.
The one draw back of his full life....is that i don't know where i would fit in. Thats a sobering thought.
I know that I've described superman as well as spiderman...with the nerdy guy with the secret life....but Spiderman beats superman in my mind every time. I don't know what it is....perhaps its that Spiderman gets his ass kicked sometimes before he finally beats the bad guys...while superman is near invincible...which kinda takes the fun out of the story.
Anyways....Spiderman is the love of my life and if i ever find someone i want to spend time with...tell him of my obsession...and its a secret dream of mine to be seduced by spiderman....hahaha
So there is some insight into my messed up psyche. Hope you enjoyed...
Who is the most "do"able superhero in your opinion??
And being honest....Peter looks damn fine in his spandex outfit.
Keeping with the general subject of love from my last post, I will let you in on a semi-secret (only if u really know me you would know this) of mine. I am in love with Spiderman. Now i know what you all are thinking....he's a fictional character....but that didn't stop girls from falling in love with Edward from Twilight. And at least in Spiderman's story, it’s not mythical powers that give him his superhuman abilities...but a fluke scientific accident of sorts.
Spiderman is two people in one, the nerdy Peter Parker, and the crime-fighting superhero....and i love both of these parts....especially the nerdy part. I have a thing for the endearing nerdy type....and Peter Parker embodies that entirely. I love dorks, and nerds but they have to have a few qualities that keep them from playing dungeons and dragons in their basement forever lol. I love smarts in a man....and Peter defiantly has those.
Peter is dedicated. He is working at the newspaper, and does well in school...which in itself is pretty good....but then on top of that...he saves the city from bad guys. That's impressive as hell. And also the effort that it must take in order for him to keep his alternate life secret is commendable.
The one draw back of his full life....is that i don't know where i would fit in. Thats a sobering thought.
I know that I've described superman as well as spiderman...with the nerdy guy with the secret life....but Spiderman beats superman in my mind every time. I don't know what it is....perhaps its that Spiderman gets his ass kicked sometimes before he finally beats the bad guys...while superman is near invincible...which kinda takes the fun out of the story.
Anyways....Spiderman is the love of my life and if i ever find someone i want to spend time with...tell him of my obsession...and its a secret dream of mine to be seduced by spiderman....hahaha
So there is some insight into my messed up psyche. Hope you enjoyed...
Who is the most "do"able superhero in your opinion??
And being honest....Peter looks damn fine in his spandex outfit.
Monday, February 28, 2011
30 Year Old Men
A few months ago, my cousin pointed out a startling but true fact about me. I love men that are in their thirties. Its a known fact. Just imagine for a moment, 90% of the celebrity men i have crushes on are over the age of 30. Maybe its the experience that those men have, or the fact that they are successful, or the fact that they are still smokin hot being older than 30....whatever it is I LOVE THEM FOR IT!!!
Following is a list of my top five 30+ year old men:
1. Ben Kowalewicz---lead singer of my fav band Billy Talent and fellow canadian!--age 35.
2. Ryan Reynolds--actor supreme and also a fellow Canadian--age 34
3. Daniel Tosh---fav Comedian and tv show host----age 35
4. James Franco--actor-but is also a painter, model, screenwriter, director and producer- age 32
5. Ryan Gosling---actor and another Canadian--age 30
I love them and ever given the chance i would jump their bones.
Keep in mind there are other 30 year old men that i love but i chose top 5 for the purposes of this blog as not to go on forever.
That being said, i think it is important to clarify a little bit. I only love certain 30 year old men. Not the Creepers that hit on you right away beacuse you are 18 and at a club or send you email bc of your pic on fb(has happened to me....a few times)....only the distinguished and professionally sucessful and non-creepy guys.
Perhaps i am just to mature for men my age.....hahahaha---right. i duno what it is but, especially the men I mentioned, just send my blood boiling and my heart a pitter-patter. I wonder when I'm thirty, if I will still find them attractive??....hmmm.....
I know that the age difference between me and these men is a little shudder-worthy. but age is just a number and love shall prevail!!
If u have crushes on other or agree with my taste in 30 year old men please let me know lol!!
Becca
Following is a list of my top five 30+ year old men:
1. Ben Kowalewicz---lead singer of my fav band Billy Talent and fellow canadian!--age 35.
2. Ryan Reynolds--actor supreme and also a fellow Canadian--age 34
3. Daniel Tosh---fav Comedian and tv show host----age 35
4. James Franco--actor-but is also a painter, model, screenwriter, director and producer- age 32
5. Ryan Gosling---actor and another Canadian--age 30
I love them and ever given the chance i would jump their bones.
Keep in mind there are other 30 year old men that i love but i chose top 5 for the purposes of this blog as not to go on forever.
That being said, i think it is important to clarify a little bit. I only love certain 30 year old men. Not the Creepers that hit on you right away beacuse you are 18 and at a club or send you email bc of your pic on fb(has happened to me....a few times)....only the distinguished and professionally sucessful and non-creepy guys.
Perhaps i am just to mature for men my age.....hahahaha---right. i duno what it is but, especially the men I mentioned, just send my blood boiling and my heart a pitter-patter. I wonder when I'm thirty, if I will still find them attractive??....hmmm.....
I know that the age difference between me and these men is a little shudder-worthy. but age is just a number and love shall prevail!!
If u have crushes on other or agree with my taste in 30 year old men please let me know lol!!
Becca
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Reading week
Hey readers!
So i apologize for not posting in more than a week....a major fail on my part. but in my defence i did not have access to internet for days. my family and i went to Montreal for a little trip....really because my brother had a hockey tournament but i'll lie and say it was just for the hell of it.
A point to note is that my immediate family is obsesssed with HOCKEY! my brother is a goalie, and is playing for a competitive team. This was even hard fought bc he didn't make the team in the city we live in....so now he plays for a team from another city...Renfrew. The people are great but this means that its about an hours drive even for a practice....which is kinda a pain in the ass. but thankfully im away at school and only have to drive him on the occasion that i'm home. OUr dinner table talk usually consists of hockey and the tv is mostly on sports channels....and the worst part is Im not a huge hockey fan! i know...totally un-canadian but its true. I like the game in short bursts...but this constant overload has probably turned me off of it.
ANYWAYS, im kinda tired right now, and i apologize for my hockey rant. I hope you are not expecting a particularly witty or funny blog post bc you will be sadly mistaken.
Reading week should be renamed. It should be called..."intend to do homework week" i totally had the intent to work hard on all my four essays that are coming due soon....but as it is thursday and i have not even looked at a book, or read what is expected of me out of my essays....i say that i failed majorly. and i am sure that i am not the only student that is in this situation. a week isn't long enough. we need at least two. one week for social purposes, and the other for homework...not divided up like that but you know what i mean...we need 14 days. and the need for catching up on sleep is present too....which i have not done either. i have to learn to go to bed at a reasonable hour. 3 am is not cutting it...especially when i promise my brother i will drive him to school for 9:00 am....fml sometimes. also i caught up on the episodes of Dexter i missed, and if you don't watch that show...watch it...and if u aren't a fan....don't talk to me! ohhhh and to gross people out my toenail of my big toe on my left foot is going to fall off...thanks to my little brother
"accidentally" bending the nail back....it bled...and was gross...and is sore as hell right now. a few friends are having a hard time right now, which doesn't make reading week good for them either, which makes me sad.
pretty much what i am trying to say....is that i apprecite the break...but not the bull that goes along with it.
sorry for my rantingness....that you probably don't understand. and i wouldn't blame you if you don't read enough to actually get to this apology. But i promise to you faithful readers that do read the whole thing, that next time my post will be back to my funny/sarcastic self. and i'll try to make it my best.
Hope your reading week is going well
Becca
So i apologize for not posting in more than a week....a major fail on my part. but in my defence i did not have access to internet for days. my family and i went to Montreal for a little trip....really because my brother had a hockey tournament but i'll lie and say it was just for the hell of it.
A point to note is that my immediate family is obsesssed with HOCKEY! my brother is a goalie, and is playing for a competitive team. This was even hard fought bc he didn't make the team in the city we live in....so now he plays for a team from another city...Renfrew. The people are great but this means that its about an hours drive even for a practice....which is kinda a pain in the ass. but thankfully im away at school and only have to drive him on the occasion that i'm home. OUr dinner table talk usually consists of hockey and the tv is mostly on sports channels....and the worst part is Im not a huge hockey fan! i know...totally un-canadian but its true. I like the game in short bursts...but this constant overload has probably turned me off of it.
ANYWAYS, im kinda tired right now, and i apologize for my hockey rant. I hope you are not expecting a particularly witty or funny blog post bc you will be sadly mistaken.
Reading week should be renamed. It should be called..."intend to do homework week" i totally had the intent to work hard on all my four essays that are coming due soon....but as it is thursday and i have not even looked at a book, or read what is expected of me out of my essays....i say that i failed majorly. and i am sure that i am not the only student that is in this situation. a week isn't long enough. we need at least two. one week for social purposes, and the other for homework...not divided up like that but you know what i mean...we need 14 days. and the need for catching up on sleep is present too....which i have not done either. i have to learn to go to bed at a reasonable hour. 3 am is not cutting it...especially when i promise my brother i will drive him to school for 9:00 am....fml sometimes. also i caught up on the episodes of Dexter i missed, and if you don't watch that show...watch it...and if u aren't a fan....don't talk to me! ohhhh and to gross people out my toenail of my big toe on my left foot is going to fall off...thanks to my little brother
"accidentally" bending the nail back....it bled...and was gross...and is sore as hell right now. a few friends are having a hard time right now, which doesn't make reading week good for them either, which makes me sad.
pretty much what i am trying to say....is that i apprecite the break...but not the bull that goes along with it.
sorry for my rantingness....that you probably don't understand. and i wouldn't blame you if you don't read enough to actually get to this apology. But i promise to you faithful readers that do read the whole thing, that next time my post will be back to my funny/sarcastic self. and i'll try to make it my best.
Hope your reading week is going well
Becca
Monday, February 14, 2011
So today is Valentine's Day...
Hey! So in honour of it being valentine's day, i decided that it was appropriote to start this blog post off with a favorite poem about valentine's day. A friend showd me this poem about a year ago and I love it dearly. I did not write it, it is from http://www.avaruusmies.com/vitsit/englanti/275.html Hope you enjoy!
Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So there's the story... what else can I say?
Love bite my ass...
Fuck Valentine's Day!
Cheery no?? It perfectly captures my feelings about this horrendous day of the year. I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY. It is a day for single people to feel lonely and sad and for couples to show off the fact that they have a significant other. Even if I had a significant other I think i would still hate it. I believe that a boyfriend/girlfriend should want to show their affection at random times because it would make their partner smile. This one day a year of romance thing is kinda an excuse for slacking off for the rest of the year! my friend Sarah made a good point today, Valentine's day is like an anniversary, a day to celebrate being with the person you love. But an anniversary is personal, and special to couples, not a mass produced holiday of sorts.
The real reason that valentine's day is a holiday is to promote consumerism. Flower sales and chocolate sales must be through the roof...and for what? to show someone that you love them? if its important to you, your significant other should already know that.
Some of the most tramatizing experiences in late elementry school and highshcool come on valentines day. CANDY GRAMS....or little packages from Hell. Every year on valentines day a person would come around to every class room and hand out candy grams. Everyone would look up hopefully as they were passed out, and the disappointment was crushing when you didn't recieve one. You would think of yourself unworhty and secretly hate every single person who got a Candy gram or three, when you didnt. You would feel sub-par. And me, never having a BF on valentine's day, was always that person. Eventually my friends and I got smart. We would send grams to eachother, to stop the embarrasment and bad feeling.
Valentine's day is just an excuse to make single people feel that being single is a bad thing....which it is NOT!!
Thats my rant on Valentine's day. Hope you enjoyed it and i hope it lifted the spirits of the single people!
Keep Calm, Carry on and....
FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!
Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So there's the story... what else can I say?
Love bite my ass...
Fuck Valentine's Day!
Cheery no?? It perfectly captures my feelings about this horrendous day of the year. I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY. It is a day for single people to feel lonely and sad and for couples to show off the fact that they have a significant other. Even if I had a significant other I think i would still hate it. I believe that a boyfriend/girlfriend should want to show their affection at random times because it would make their partner smile. This one day a year of romance thing is kinda an excuse for slacking off for the rest of the year! my friend Sarah made a good point today, Valentine's day is like an anniversary, a day to celebrate being with the person you love. But an anniversary is personal, and special to couples, not a mass produced holiday of sorts.
The real reason that valentine's day is a holiday is to promote consumerism. Flower sales and chocolate sales must be through the roof...and for what? to show someone that you love them? if its important to you, your significant other should already know that.
Some of the most tramatizing experiences in late elementry school and highshcool come on valentines day. CANDY GRAMS....or little packages from Hell. Every year on valentines day a person would come around to every class room and hand out candy grams. Everyone would look up hopefully as they were passed out, and the disappointment was crushing when you didn't recieve one. You would think of yourself unworhty and secretly hate every single person who got a Candy gram or three, when you didnt. You would feel sub-par. And me, never having a BF on valentine's day, was always that person. Eventually my friends and I got smart. We would send grams to eachother, to stop the embarrasment and bad feeling.
Valentine's day is just an excuse to make single people feel that being single is a bad thing....which it is NOT!!
Thats my rant on Valentine's day. Hope you enjoyed it and i hope it lifted the spirits of the single people!
Keep Calm, Carry on and....
FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!
Friday, February 11, 2011
ultimate sport of sexiness---pole daincing!!!
Hey! so i chose to write on this particular subject because, due to my third session of pole dancing lessons yesterday, i am sore and super bruised and can not move my right arm very much or else my muscles scream. but i'm sure i will be better by tomorrow....and i plan on lathering A535 rub all over my self after i am finished this post.
Now, when i tell people that i have started pole-dancing, they look at me weird, and i see it in some people's eyes, i become an immediate sex object, and lose my holds on remaining a human being in their opinion, but i do not think that should be the case! I decided to take pole dancing lessons with my friend Sarah for a few reasons, some very practical, some not so practical:
So those, among others are the main reasons why i chose to take up the sport of pole dancing.
On a side note, now that i appreciate how hard working on a pole can be, i have immense respect for strippers and the like, because i know how hard they have to work and how bruised and battered their bodies become.
So, the moral of this story is, TIP YOUR STRIPPER WELL!!! she works hard for your money.
Becca.
Ohh and btw, a friend of mine brought this little gem of literature to my attention. its a short story of sorts about a zombie. its is written by Issac Marion, and i love it dearly. I'll post the link:
http://www.burningbuilding.com/zombie.htm
Now, when i tell people that i have started pole-dancing, they look at me weird, and i see it in some people's eyes, i become an immediate sex object, and lose my holds on remaining a human being in their opinion, but i do not think that should be the case! I decided to take pole dancing lessons with my friend Sarah for a few reasons, some very practical, some not so practical:
- Looks like fun, and i expected it to be hard, but it totally blew my expectations away.
- good way to exercise and get the bikini body i have always wanted.
- even though it was sort of expensive to take the classes, i think of it more as an investment. by investing my $158 into my lessons, i have a fallback career option if the whole law school thing doesn't work out.
- it isn't only a fall back position, it could turn out to be a way that i pay for my steep tuition at law school. people complain about their $7000 undergraduate tuition, but i know what is in my future....around $30 000 tuition, for law school, and that doesn't even include books, so i think having a job on the side....which i assume tips very well....would be of great value to me.
- ability to use it as a pick up line of sorts. imagine, you are at a club, and you see a cute guy. you just have to say, "I can dance on a pole." and you raise yourself above your competition by kilometers.
- for later planning. my skills, if i keep practicing, would make my husband happy i think, and guarantee myself a long, faithful, marriage lmao!
So those, among others are the main reasons why i chose to take up the sport of pole dancing.
On a side note, now that i appreciate how hard working on a pole can be, i have immense respect for strippers and the like, because i know how hard they have to work and how bruised and battered their bodies become.
So, the moral of this story is, TIP YOUR STRIPPER WELL!!! she works hard for your money.
Becca.
Ohh and btw, a friend of mine brought this little gem of literature to my attention. its a short story of sorts about a zombie. its is written by Issac Marion, and i love it dearly. I'll post the link:
http://www.burningbuilding.com/zombie.htm
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
magic elevator man!
I know that i am writing really soon after my first blog, but something interesting happened today that i must talk about for i fear that i will forget it! this is a funny story.
So i was waiting in a hallway for my english class to start. i was waiting with my friends Bill and Tess. anyways, our spot where we sit while waiting is directly across from an elevator. Today, we were sitting there, chatting away, looking out the window at the snowy landscape, when a maitenance man started to work on the elevator. we watched awestruck as he made the elevator go one floor down and then he opened the doors on our floor and then jumped in.
Okay, i know it doesn't really sound that cool, but me, having never seen the inside of an elevator shaft before, and it being early in the morning, was quite impressed. the door closed behind him and we could hear things being smacked against metal and joked that he accidentally dropped something.
The class before us let out, and we heroically saved the man's life 4 times as we told four different people that the elevator was not in service. immagine if for some reason the elevator moved and it would have squished him! i know that doesn't make much sense but whatever. about ten minutes later, we were still sitting there, and we saw taht the elevator was moving to the lowest floor. we speculated that the magic man was riding the elevator down like a ninja! when the elevator came back to our floor we looked inside and he wasn't there! magic!!!
i know that he probably used the escape hatch to get into the elevator and got off at a different floor, but isn't it more fun to think that there is one magical elevator maitenance man working at carleton university?? I think so and i will delusion myself because of it!
Lmao
So i was waiting in a hallway for my english class to start. i was waiting with my friends Bill and Tess. anyways, our spot where we sit while waiting is directly across from an elevator. Today, we were sitting there, chatting away, looking out the window at the snowy landscape, when a maitenance man started to work on the elevator. we watched awestruck as he made the elevator go one floor down and then he opened the doors on our floor and then jumped in.
Okay, i know it doesn't really sound that cool, but me, having never seen the inside of an elevator shaft before, and it being early in the morning, was quite impressed. the door closed behind him and we could hear things being smacked against metal and joked that he accidentally dropped something.
The class before us let out, and we heroically saved the man's life 4 times as we told four different people that the elevator was not in service. immagine if for some reason the elevator moved and it would have squished him! i know that doesn't make much sense but whatever. about ten minutes later, we were still sitting there, and we saw taht the elevator was moving to the lowest floor. we speculated that the magic man was riding the elevator down like a ninja! when the elevator came back to our floor we looked inside and he wasn't there! magic!!!
i know that he probably used the escape hatch to get into the elevator and got off at a different floor, but isn't it more fun to think that there is one magical elevator maitenance man working at carleton university?? I think so and i will delusion myself because of it!
Lmao
Monday, February 7, 2011
disturbing as hell
Hey! so i just got out of lecture for my Women and gender studies class-WGST1808 at Carleton University. for the past few weeks we have been discussing violence against women, a serious subject to say the least. today we focused specifically on sexual violence. during the lecture one horrible occurance was pointed out to me, that i had never realised before.
Firstly, many sexual assults go unreported, as i knew, but one possible reason why is a little astonishing. when making a report to the police survivors (using the word "victim" creates a stigma for the women who have suffered) of sexual assult, they are often turned down. police are slow to believe women. and deem a lot of caess as "unfounded"-such as cases of sex workers, or if the person was your boyfriend.Police will acusse you of lying and this can be very damaging to the woman. This is vaiable as a reason why some women wwouldn't even bother reporting it to the police. Even if police believe your account, most cases are "unsubstantiated" and therefore not taken to court. in certain cases the women who were at first believed, are then faced with disbelief and ridicule and accused of lying.
Only 33% of cases are brought to court--and from the cases reported and believed there is only a 2% conviction rate.
This fact keeps women silent and prevents women from reporting and it denies their experiences.
Is anyone else as disturbed by this as I am??
I know this was a rather serious and unfun first blog post but this situation and the inability of our justice system to deal with cases of sexual assult is astonishing and horrifying.
Please let me know if you agree!
sources:
http://www.rainn.org/statistics
and from Prof. Ekholst's lecture
Firstly, many sexual assults go unreported, as i knew, but one possible reason why is a little astonishing. when making a report to the police survivors (using the word "victim" creates a stigma for the women who have suffered) of sexual assult, they are often turned down. police are slow to believe women. and deem a lot of caess as "unfounded"-such as cases of sex workers, or if the person was your boyfriend.Police will acusse you of lying and this can be very damaging to the woman. This is vaiable as a reason why some women wwouldn't even bother reporting it to the police. Even if police believe your account, most cases are "unsubstantiated" and therefore not taken to court. in certain cases the women who were at first believed, are then faced with disbelief and ridicule and accused of lying.
Only 33% of cases are brought to court--and from the cases reported and believed there is only a 2% conviction rate.
This fact keeps women silent and prevents women from reporting and it denies their experiences.
Is anyone else as disturbed by this as I am??
I know this was a rather serious and unfun first blog post but this situation and the inability of our justice system to deal with cases of sexual assult is astonishing and horrifying.
Please let me know if you agree!
sources:
http://www.rainn.org/statistics
and from Prof. Ekholst's lecture
me!
hey! so i have intended to start a blog since September, but have failed to go any farther than making myself an account lol. i've gained the courage to start today lol. life is never boring, especially for a first year university student lol.
I dunno exactly what i want this blog to be about, but i guess we will see as i go. expect randomness and questionable santiy at times. Ohh and if you get offended by profain language i'd advise you to press the back button and never return to this blog
I hope you think my insights and thoughts and feelings are valid, or at least humerous!
And if your a hater my bestie Puja is gunna take an "iron to your face you wrinkled b***h"
lmao! (thank you Nicki Minaj for those inspiring lyrics)
"Check it out!"
Thanks!
I dunno exactly what i want this blog to be about, but i guess we will see as i go. expect randomness and questionable santiy at times. Ohh and if you get offended by profain language i'd advise you to press the back button and never return to this blog
I hope you think my insights and thoughts and feelings are valid, or at least humerous!
And if your a hater my bestie Puja is gunna take an "iron to your face you wrinkled b***h"
lmao! (thank you Nicki Minaj for those inspiring lyrics)
"Check it out!"
Thanks!
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