Monday, April 18, 2011

end of first year

So as I finished my last exam last friday night, I came to realise that I am done. I have successfully completed my first year of university.  It seems almost surreal that it is over, and it seems as though it has gone by way to quickly. I'm in a little bit of a state of shock. As you can imagine, for the past month i have been insanely busy, whether working on multiple essays or studying or writing exams i always had something i should be doing. However, now that all that is over, as my first year is done, I am at a loss of what to do with myself. I feel as though i don't have a purpose any longer. I'm sure that will change and i will envy my time of nothingness when i start my summer job, but for now i feel almost empty inside.

Having a four month summer worries me for a couple of reasons. firstly my brain went to mush in a two month summer....next September is going to be brutal. secondly, it was hard enough keeping in contact with everyone over a two month summer, and who lived in the same city as I do. This is different now as all of my friends i have made this year live in other places, most in the Toronto area. I know it will be similar to leaving my friends behind as i did in September when i first came to university. It feels different though, as I was leaving behind more than just my friends. I was leaving behind my old life. I have created something new for myself in Ottawa, and i wonder if leaving these friends will feel like i am leaving my new self and going back to my old self....i guess we will see.

anyways, to change up the beat of this post....I'm currently working on cover letters to send with my resume to random places and cross my fingers to get a job. i have huge plans for next year particularily reading week, but that all hinges on the amount of money i earn for myself this summer. and because the price of gas is soooo high its necessary to have a job that earns you big bucks. lol. i'm tired of cover letters and my resume is as week as shit lol. whateves it will all work out i'm sure. although i've only been home for about 29 hours and am already being driven insane by my family. lol c'est la vie!

xoxoxo
Becca


ps.....i would appreciate comments from readers if there really are any. it kinda validates my blog in a way lol. I promise i'm nice and i don't bite....not hard anyways :p lol

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Mother Monster

So I've wanted to write about Lady Gaga on here since going to her concert in early march....which was amazing!! but i figured that just raving about a concert wouldn't create a substantial enough blog post.  I was inspired again today in my women and gender studies class when we discussed post-feminism. Lady gaga is a feminist, an inspiring fact.


I think she is the sexiest woman ever...and most males wouldn't agree with me. she is sexy and feminine and powerful and for those who don't know me well enough to already know this, i am heterosexual but if i ever had the chance to sleep with Lady Gaga i would jump on it.


She is inspirational and talented. at her concert her mike cut out and stopped working, and she said, "At least you all know i don't fucking lip sink." she doesn't wear things to make her look beautiful, every outfit she wears makes a statement. She walks a thin line between desirable and grotesque she is openly sexual and not everything she does is for a male gaze.


most people who claim to love lady gaga still can't make sense of Lady Gaga's video for her song Telephone.  I'll admit that I too was confused and a little intimidated by the video.  The cheesy lines, the bad acting would be enough to turn any viewer off of the video...but not me. After doing feminist perspective film reviews for my women and gender studies class a few things in the video started to make sense and after some further research into her video it actually is a great feminist testament.  I'll lay out a few examples, although I will not cover them all i am sure here is a list i  have compiled:


1. The Pussy Wagon: for those who have seen Kill Bill, you will recognize the pussy wagon. it is a bright yellow truck, who was driven by an pig asshole. Gaga and Beyonce reinvent the pussy wagon for themselves, making it positive feminist image instead of negative.
2. body as a crime scene--makes a statement to violence against women
3. Thelma and Louise reference---the holding hands while driving references one of the movies that is held closest to hte hearts of feminists.
4. Heather Cassils---Canadian body builder---reinventing females and blurring gender lines with her masculine appearance. and blurring Gaga's sexuality.
5. butch body guards---changing the use of "video ho's"
6. eating the bun--this is not sexy...and they know it. its "sexy" when girls lick ice cream or eat some other food seductively Beyonce and Gaga are recognizing the regular music video occurrence and flipping it upside down
7. killing abusive rude boyfriend---ha ha asshole! don't be rude and steal your girlfriend's honey.
8. the image of the 1950's housewife---Lady Gaga's cooking outfit is reminiscent of a 50's housewife image, minus the bright blue telephone hat...they challenge that gender role
9.the poisoning of the honey---this could be symbolic of the fact that Gaga and Beyonce aren't going to conform to the sweet girl standards society has
10. "told you she doesn't have a dick"--statement about the rumours of her being a hermaphrodite
11. wonder woman---they dress like reinterpretations of wonder women. bringing to mind saving the young people from over consumption and the gender lines are blurred.
12. Gaga in her cheetah outfit---reminiscent of Shaina Twain, its a pussy's world and she's in control of it.

so needless to say...I LOVE LADY GAGA!! and if she ever comes back to ottawa again i will see her....even though i've seen her twice already.

xoxoxo
Becca


ps. I looked at where my views are coming from and i've got two page views from europe!! so cool lol.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Vampires

I know what you all are thinking....here's another vampire-crazed girl....and you are right to an extent. i do love vampires...I always have. I've had a fascination with them for as long as I can remember.  I remember my first vampire book that I read, when i was about seven years old.I forget the name of the book but it talked about a young boy who was a vampire and struggled to keep it from his friends. It didn't deal with the issues that come up in vampire novels for adults but it still started my 'blood lust' for vampires.

Vampires have been around forever, although not always in the same form. In almost every society in existence had an adaptation of the vampire. The vampire was a scapegoat for the ills of that society. when crops wouldn't grow, or people would get sick, with what we now would say was plague, the myth of the vampire would fire up again, and take the blame for the harsh times.
In older days when a vampire's presence would be suggested, people would go and dig up recently dead people, to see if they were the vampires. They validated their suspicions through simple tests. if the corpse's teeth were elongated, and if the fingernails and hair looked longer.---contrary to popular belief, vampire's did not look like a living human, but more a corpse that could walk...more like a zombie.---but lets go back to their "fool-proof" vampire tests. when decomposition starts skin starts to shrivel and peel back, making the hair appear longer, and the nails appear longer. the gums also shrivel back, making the teeth look unnaturally elongated....so were the dead bodies they mutilated with stakes and cutting off heads really vampires?? I doubt it highly.
The first time these vampire myths were combined to create a complete being was in Bram Stoker's Dracula---coincidentally my favorite book.  Stoker's Dracula was unnattractive, scary looking, and inellequant. He was a foreigner, in a time when England was wary of them, especially from the east--which is where Transelvania is located. Also...there is something sexy about a vampire sucking your blood....and that is what it's supposed to be. As we learned when we studied Dracula in english this year....Dracula's fangs are a phallic symbol. The fangs penetrate the skin....a little erotic really. Also, in this novel Stoker brings to mind to growing fear of syphillis that was growing in england at the time. This disease spreading is shown through the spreading of the "vampireness." Through this novel a few weapons to fight the vampire were credited. Firstly was the idea of a cruifix to ward them away. also the use of garlic to protect yourself against vampires. The last is driving the stake through the heart of the sleeping vampire, and if necessary cutting off its head.

Some of you are thinking, "wait, what about the sunlight thing?" well i have an answer for that. the sensitivity to sunlight part of the myth didn't come about until the vampire made it into the movies. the first 'Dracula' movie was made in Germany. this vampire was made to represent the first world war and its effects on Germany. This movie was called "Nosfuratu". He looked like he was half-rat and half human....creepy for sure. it was this movie that introduced the idea that vampires couldn't go out in the sun, or they would burn into dust.

Next came Hollywood's time to shine. They scooped up the vampire hype and changed the myth again...in a way to attract more fans....they made the vampire handsome and charming, and that set women's loins on fire....still do. They made this vampire's pursuit of blood more like a romance between the vampire and the woman. 

Something was missing though, the insight into the vampire. Anne Rice fixed this with her books, most notably her book "Interview with the vampire." she looked into the vampires, and their feelings and moral dilemma's towards being a vampire and asked the question, if vampires could be good people behind their monstrous need for human blood? I love these books too....and yes i have read them all.

Now we get to twilight, which i hate. ohhh all you twihards will be hate mailing me if you read this. but seriously, i love the idea of the sensitive vampire, one who wishes he was human again, that's cool. but what i don't like is the fact that she completely discredited all other vampire myths of garlic, sunlight, crucifix, and made her vampires invincible to humans. and don't get me started on the sickeningly subservient Bella....she's too self-sacrificing to be real.

I think that vampire myths will always be around, and i just hope that some stick true to the traditions of vampires, so we don't lose sight of its roots.  Yes i am a fangirl of vampires, all works and movies, but at least i'm educated, and am not just in love with vampires because i want an "Edward Cullen".

Love vamps.
xoxoxo
Becca


Ps. i'm going to list my fav vampire books below. i'll cut them down to my top 5

1. Dracula
2. Interview with the Vampire---or any other book written by Anne Rice
3. Midnight Guardian
4. Dracula the undead---written by Darce Stoker--Bram's great great grand nephew...or somehting like that
5. any book in the vampire accademy series---read them all.