Well there goes another relationship down the drain, yet more wasted time and effort and emotion for nothing. Although this break-up was mutual, the fact still remains that men are assholes (perhaps not all, but for the purpose of this post i will generalize).
The situation, bare-bones, was that he was going away for the summer, all 4 months of it (4 months for university students) and did not want to remain in a relationship. This I understand, and I realize that this sort of thing happens. I just wish he would have left it at that, but no, he threw in that his "feelings had changed"--which does not make sense to me. After mentioning his desire to break up, with the intention of getting back together in the fall, I knew a rift was created in our relationship. I could feel myself shutting down and shutting him out, which i do believe is a natural, and understandable reaction to the situation. My feelings had changed. I no longer felt like the princess he promised to make me feel, I felt cheap and like something he could pick up and cast aside whenever he desired. I WAS NOT OKAY WITH THIS. I am not sure if some other women would be alright with this scenario but I am not, I respect myself and expect to be treated with respect.
However, I liked this guy, and i hoped inside that he would think about things and change his mind about breaking up...but I guess I was wrong.
He started withdrawing, and I could see it. It became tiresome to try and contact him when he obviously did not want anything to do with me.
It was about this time when i became indifferent. I did not care about our relationship, one way or the other, whether we stayed together or not really did not concern me.
This is the time we broke up. I'm not sure what he was expecting, but I don't think he got it. I was tight-lipped and stone-faced, no crying or carrying on. I said what needed to be said and he left.
I think i'll miss the relationship we had. I don't think i will miss him, but the idealized beginning of our relationship, as well as the good memories and moments will be missed.
Well there is another loop in the belt, and i wish nothing but the best for him.
I feel numb at this moment in time, and hope that this feeling of indifference towards my love life goes away soon.
Sorry for the scarseness of the posts. THis year has been especially hard for me, losing a close friend and family issues. I have felt really unmotivated to write here. Again, my apologies.
xoxoxo
Becca.
