Has one experience in your life ever completely changed you?
This happened to me. My friend died in a car accident about a week and a half ago, and even though i'm functioning again, I feel like a part of me will be forever numb or broken. I get emotional for no real reason about things that are upsetting, but do not require as much energy as i put into feeling upset about them.
I think it is a compound of factors. My friend dying, is the main one i'm sure, but stress in my family life, as well as one of my best friends ignoring/ditching me because of a boy, it just becomes too much sometimes and i think i've snapped. I think this will heal as i heal after losing a close friend, but I doubt that i will ever be the same.
This experience has showed me who my true friends are, the ones who cared enough to check in on me, and not just a cursory glance, but to actually take the time and make sure i was alright. I"ll never forget you and your care. It means more to me than you will ever know, and i will never be able to repay you. This is defiantly one of my more sappy posts, but i think it is suiting after having gone through such a tragedy. I'm sorry if this brought your day down at all, but this forum helps me sort through my thoughts, and I appreciate your support in this difficult time.
xoxoxo Becca
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Bus Ride
Hola Readers!
Now, as some of you may know, and perhaps are able to relate to, I live in Ottawa, and the most effective way to travel is by public transit and for a student it is about the only way to travel. Anyways, i take a bus at least twice a day, everyday of my life. My bus-ride to school usually takes about 45 minutes, which is a little ridiculous because it takes me ten minutes to drive there. but i am not here to rant and rave about the bus system...but perhaps i'll save that for another time. I'm going to tell you about an odd but funny situation that happens to me all the time on a bus. Now as i've explained, i take the bus frequently, and always at peak times it seems. because the buses are always packed. here's one situation i find myself in a lot. by the time my bus stop comes the bus is usually already full, so i end up standing...and at the front of the bus where there are no vertical poles to hold onto...only horizontal ones. and there are seats under those horizontal poles, facing sideways, not like regular bus seats do. these seats are meant for elderly people, pregnant women, and the seats fold up so that strollers and wheelchairs can have room on the bus. but, when those seats aren't occupied, anyone can sit there. and this is where my story begins. i usually end up standing awkwardly in front of someone, and their face is right at crotch level. and i never know what to do. should i converse with them, and try to get rid of some of the awkwardness? no i usually turn around, so they get to look at my ass. seems a little less intimate than a crotch stare-down. however, this isn't where the awkwardness stops. the bus goes around sharp corners and it causes the standing-riders to slip and slide around, and those in the front of the bus end up almost in the laps of the people sitting in front of them...either that or their ass goes in front of their face. So basically, the person gets a half-assed awkward lap dance of sorts....but it's free....so i guess they can't complain??!!?? I've also been on the receiving end of this lap-dance on a public bus....and i can tell you that it usually isn't as enjoyable as it seems...LMAO.
Situation number two:
The bus is less packed, there are still a few seats with only one person in it...and you are one of those people. when people get on the bus and pick a seat, you sigh in relief when they pick a different one than you are in, and you celebrate being able to sit alone and have some personal space. After a few more stops there are only a few seats left, and yours isn't taken...you start to panic mildly. Why is no one sitting with you? why are you repulsing them? If you are like me, in this situation, at about this time is when i start discreetly smelling myself, making sure i don't stink, thinking that that could be the reason i am being avoided. But as i shower every morning i don't stink and i start worrying about my facial expressions i'm making...perhaps it is those which are scaring away other passengers. needless to say i keep neurotically thinking of ways i could be offending or scaring people off until some passenger sits beside me...and then i ride contently for the rest of the trip.
i can't be the only one who goes through these thought process. let me know what u think lol
xoxoxo Becca
ohh ps. as i have recently started up on twitter again i encourage you to follow me. and look for my debut on Youtube coming soon.
my twitter is @BeccaC007
Now, as some of you may know, and perhaps are able to relate to, I live in Ottawa, and the most effective way to travel is by public transit and for a student it is about the only way to travel. Anyways, i take a bus at least twice a day, everyday of my life. My bus-ride to school usually takes about 45 minutes, which is a little ridiculous because it takes me ten minutes to drive there. but i am not here to rant and rave about the bus system...but perhaps i'll save that for another time. I'm going to tell you about an odd but funny situation that happens to me all the time on a bus. Now as i've explained, i take the bus frequently, and always at peak times it seems. because the buses are always packed. here's one situation i find myself in a lot. by the time my bus stop comes the bus is usually already full, so i end up standing...and at the front of the bus where there are no vertical poles to hold onto...only horizontal ones. and there are seats under those horizontal poles, facing sideways, not like regular bus seats do. these seats are meant for elderly people, pregnant women, and the seats fold up so that strollers and wheelchairs can have room on the bus. but, when those seats aren't occupied, anyone can sit there. and this is where my story begins. i usually end up standing awkwardly in front of someone, and their face is right at crotch level. and i never know what to do. should i converse with them, and try to get rid of some of the awkwardness? no i usually turn around, so they get to look at my ass. seems a little less intimate than a crotch stare-down. however, this isn't where the awkwardness stops. the bus goes around sharp corners and it causes the standing-riders to slip and slide around, and those in the front of the bus end up almost in the laps of the people sitting in front of them...either that or their ass goes in front of their face. So basically, the person gets a half-assed awkward lap dance of sorts....but it's free....so i guess they can't complain??!!?? I've also been on the receiving end of this lap-dance on a public bus....and i can tell you that it usually isn't as enjoyable as it seems...LMAO.
Situation number two:
The bus is less packed, there are still a few seats with only one person in it...and you are one of those people. when people get on the bus and pick a seat, you sigh in relief when they pick a different one than you are in, and you celebrate being able to sit alone and have some personal space. After a few more stops there are only a few seats left, and yours isn't taken...you start to panic mildly. Why is no one sitting with you? why are you repulsing them? If you are like me, in this situation, at about this time is when i start discreetly smelling myself, making sure i don't stink, thinking that that could be the reason i am being avoided. But as i shower every morning i don't stink and i start worrying about my facial expressions i'm making...perhaps it is those which are scaring away other passengers. needless to say i keep neurotically thinking of ways i could be offending or scaring people off until some passenger sits beside me...and then i ride contently for the rest of the trip.
i can't be the only one who goes through these thought process. let me know what u think lol
xoxoxo Becca
ohh ps. as i have recently started up on twitter again i encourage you to follow me. and look for my debut on Youtube coming soon.
my twitter is @BeccaC007
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