Hola Readers!
Now, as some of you may know, and perhaps are able to relate to, I live in Ottawa, and the most effective way to travel is by public transit and for a student it is about the only way to travel. Anyways, i take a bus at least twice a day, everyday of my life. My bus-ride to school usually takes about 45 minutes, which is a little ridiculous because it takes me ten minutes to drive there. but i am not here to rant and rave about the bus system...but perhaps i'll save that for another time. I'm going to tell you about an odd but funny situation that happens to me all the time on a bus. Now as i've explained, i take the bus frequently, and always at peak times it seems. because the buses are always packed. here's one situation i find myself in a lot. by the time my bus stop comes the bus is usually already full, so i end up standing...and at the front of the bus where there are no vertical poles to hold onto...only horizontal ones. and there are seats under those horizontal poles, facing sideways, not like regular bus seats do. these seats are meant for elderly people, pregnant women, and the seats fold up so that strollers and wheelchairs can have room on the bus. but, when those seats aren't occupied, anyone can sit there. and this is where my story begins. i usually end up standing awkwardly in front of someone, and their face is right at crotch level. and i never know what to do. should i converse with them, and try to get rid of some of the awkwardness? no i usually turn around, so they get to look at my ass. seems a little less intimate than a crotch stare-down. however, this isn't where the awkwardness stops. the bus goes around sharp corners and it causes the standing-riders to slip and slide around, and those in the front of the bus end up almost in the laps of the people sitting in front of them...either that or their ass goes in front of their face. So basically, the person gets a half-assed awkward lap dance of sorts....but it's free....so i guess they can't complain??!!?? I've also been on the receiving end of this lap-dance on a public bus....and i can tell you that it usually isn't as enjoyable as it seems...LMAO.
Situation number two:
The bus is less packed, there are still a few seats with only one person in it...and you are one of those people. when people get on the bus and pick a seat, you sigh in relief when they pick a different one than you are in, and you celebrate being able to sit alone and have some personal space. After a few more stops there are only a few seats left, and yours isn't taken...you start to panic mildly. Why is no one sitting with you? why are you repulsing them? If you are like me, in this situation, at about this time is when i start discreetly smelling myself, making sure i don't stink, thinking that that could be the reason i am being avoided. But as i shower every morning i don't stink and i start worrying about my facial expressions i'm making...perhaps it is those which are scaring away other passengers. needless to say i keep neurotically thinking of ways i could be offending or scaring people off until some passenger sits beside me...and then i ride contently for the rest of the trip.
i can't be the only one who goes through these thought process. let me know what u think lol
xoxoxo Becca
ohh ps. as i have recently started up on twitter again i encourage you to follow me. and look for my debut on Youtube coming soon.
my twitter is @BeccaC007
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
family
hey blogees.
i recntly found out that my unce has prostate cancer and it has developed, but we are hopeful that it was caught early enough so that his treatement will work and he will recover.
but in response to this news, i responded as most would imagine i would...by crying my eyes out and wondering why it had to by my uncle. He is a nice man, and family is important to him, and he's always been there for me and my immediate family whenever we needed anyhing at all. He is the oldest son in my Dad's family. He has four kids, and is a new grandpa, and i wondered about why is it that when life seems to be going good, and you are happy, that it decides to flip that all on its head. when my mother told me the news over the phone i went numb...my earlier complaints to her over having a cold seemed superficial and stupid. a few of my friends have lost loved ones to cancer, and i kept thinking about them, and even though it was a different type of cancer, the idea still scared the shit out of me. Cancer is an ugly word, apt for the ugly disease it describes.
I am angry too. for many reasons, i'm angry at myself for some things i said to my uncle that were perhaps not the kindest, and i regret every mean word i said to him or anyone else about him. I'm angry at the world, for allowing this to happen, and i guess God too, if he is out there. I'm angry at my uncle's doctor. Apparently my uncle's levels had been up for awhile, meaning he had the cancer for awhile, but the doctor did nothing about it until this summer, when he was diagnosed, and this allowed the cancer to develop more. it terrifies me. i couldn't imagine my life without my uncle, or for that matter anyone in my family.
My grandma is 87 years old. she is a sweet old lady, and has had a tough life, loosing my grandpa when she was about 57. her kids and grandkids are her life, and she loves us and we love her very much. my uncle didn't tell her yet, and i undersand why. she would be upset, perhaps more than the rest of us. she is old and the fear is that she wouldn't be able to handle the news....there is nothing she can do. and that would be hard for granny, she has done everything for herself, her entire life. to be helpless in this case would kill her, especially when her son is in trouble.
I think the helplessness i feel is the worst. i know that no matter what i do, no matter how hard i cry or how loud i scream, that it won't help...i can just let him know i love him, and remain positive for his sake. but for the last nine days since i found out, i've cried myself to sleep.
I love you uncle Paul, you are an amazing man and you are strong enough and stuborn enough (a family trait) to pull through this.
i am an optomist i truely believe that my uncle will pull through and our entire family will be stronger after the experience. I would like to dedicate this post to my family. every single cousin, and aunt, and my friends who i consider more family than anyhting else.
i love you all dearly and you have helped shape my life into what it is, and i wouldn't replace one of you, i would change nothing about any of you.
LOVE ALWAYS,
xoxoxoxo Becca
i recntly found out that my unce has prostate cancer and it has developed, but we are hopeful that it was caught early enough so that his treatement will work and he will recover.
but in response to this news, i responded as most would imagine i would...by crying my eyes out and wondering why it had to by my uncle. He is a nice man, and family is important to him, and he's always been there for me and my immediate family whenever we needed anyhing at all. He is the oldest son in my Dad's family. He has four kids, and is a new grandpa, and i wondered about why is it that when life seems to be going good, and you are happy, that it decides to flip that all on its head. when my mother told me the news over the phone i went numb...my earlier complaints to her over having a cold seemed superficial and stupid. a few of my friends have lost loved ones to cancer, and i kept thinking about them, and even though it was a different type of cancer, the idea still scared the shit out of me. Cancer is an ugly word, apt for the ugly disease it describes.
I am angry too. for many reasons, i'm angry at myself for some things i said to my uncle that were perhaps not the kindest, and i regret every mean word i said to him or anyone else about him. I'm angry at the world, for allowing this to happen, and i guess God too, if he is out there. I'm angry at my uncle's doctor. Apparently my uncle's levels had been up for awhile, meaning he had the cancer for awhile, but the doctor did nothing about it until this summer, when he was diagnosed, and this allowed the cancer to develop more. it terrifies me. i couldn't imagine my life without my uncle, or for that matter anyone in my family.
My grandma is 87 years old. she is a sweet old lady, and has had a tough life, loosing my grandpa when she was about 57. her kids and grandkids are her life, and she loves us and we love her very much. my uncle didn't tell her yet, and i undersand why. she would be upset, perhaps more than the rest of us. she is old and the fear is that she wouldn't be able to handle the news....there is nothing she can do. and that would be hard for granny, she has done everything for herself, her entire life. to be helpless in this case would kill her, especially when her son is in trouble.
I think the helplessness i feel is the worst. i know that no matter what i do, no matter how hard i cry or how loud i scream, that it won't help...i can just let him know i love him, and remain positive for his sake. but for the last nine days since i found out, i've cried myself to sleep.
I love you uncle Paul, you are an amazing man and you are strong enough and stuborn enough (a family trait) to pull through this.
i am an optomist i truely believe that my uncle will pull through and our entire family will be stronger after the experience. I would like to dedicate this post to my family. every single cousin, and aunt, and my friends who i consider more family than anyhting else.
i love you all dearly and you have helped shape my life into what it is, and i wouldn't replace one of you, i would change nothing about any of you.
LOVE ALWAYS,
xoxoxoxo Becca
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