family

hey blogees.

i recntly found out that my unce has prostate cancer and it has developed, but we are hopeful that it was caught early enough so that his treatement will work and he will recover.

but in response to this news, i responded as most would imagine i would...by crying my eyes out and wondering why it had to by my uncle. He is a nice man, and family is important to him, and he's always been there for me and my immediate family whenever we needed anyhing at all. He is the oldest son in my Dad's family.  He has four kids, and is a new grandpa, and i wondered about why is it that when life seems to be going good, and you are happy, that it decides to flip that all on its head.  when my mother told me the news over the phone i went numb...my earlier complaints to her over having a cold seemed superficial and stupid.  a few of my friends have lost loved ones to cancer, and i kept thinking about them, and even though it was a different type of cancer, the idea still scared the shit out of me. Cancer is an ugly word, apt for the ugly disease it describes.

I am angry too. for many reasons, i'm angry at myself for some things i said to my uncle that were perhaps not the kindest, and i regret every mean word i said to him or anyone else about him. I'm angry at the world, for allowing this to happen, and i guess God too, if he is out there. I'm angry at my uncle's doctor. Apparently my uncle's levels had been up for awhile, meaning he had the cancer for awhile, but the doctor did nothing about it until this summer, when he was diagnosed, and this allowed the cancer to develop more.  it terrifies me. i couldn't imagine my life without my uncle, or for that matter anyone in my family.

My grandma is 87 years old. she is a sweet old lady, and has had a tough life, loosing my grandpa when she was about 57. her kids and grandkids are her life, and she loves us and we love her very much. my uncle didn't tell her yet, and i undersand why. she would be upset, perhaps more than the rest of us. she is old and the fear is that she wouldn't be able to handle the news....there is nothing she can do. and that would be hard for granny, she has done everything for herself, her entire life. to be helpless in this case would kill her, especially when her son is in trouble.

I think the helplessness i feel is the worst. i know that no matter what i do, no matter how hard i cry or how loud i scream, that it won't help...i can just let him know i love him, and remain positive for his sake. but for the last nine days since i found out, i've cried myself to sleep.

I love you uncle Paul, you are an amazing man and you are strong enough and stuborn enough (a family trait) to pull through this.

i am an optomist i truely believe that my uncle will pull through and our entire family will be stronger after the experience. I would like to dedicate this post to my family. every single cousin, and aunt, and my friends who i consider more family than anyhting else.

i love you all dearly and you have helped shape my life into what it is, and i wouldn't replace one of you, i would change nothing about any of you.

LOVE ALWAYS,
xoxoxoxo Becca

Canadian Bands

 Good morning, eh!


LOL. i can't believe that some people actually think every Canadian uses that word "eh" all the time. i admit that i use it on occasion and don't even realise i used it. Despite this and our reputation for being overly nice i am proud of my heritage...maybe because of the things i mentioned? but nevertheless i would not want to be from anywhere but Canada. There are many reasons, but i will list my top few. We have sexy men...*cough* Ryan Reynolds *cough* and our bands are amazing...and if you read the title of this post you can probably guess which of these aspects of Canadian awesomeness i will discuss. I defiantly have a thing for Canadian bands...my two most favourite bands are Canadian. Billy Talent, and The Arkells. One is from Montreal and the other from Hamilton. They are awesome and i love them dearly....perhaps they are not your taste or you have never heard of them, and i would seriously advise you to look them up.


In case you aren't impressed with my top two here's a list of other Canadian bands i have on my ipod...i know i'm missing a lot but feel free to comment telling me your favourites.


abandon all ships
age of daze
alexisonfire
arcade fire
bare naked ladies
Cromeo
city and colour
san sebastian
Die Mannequin
down with webster
finger eleven
Glass Tiger
The Guess Who
Headstones
Hedley
IllScarlet
Matthew Good Band
Metric
Midway State
Mobile
New Cities
Neverending white lights
Nickelback
Priestess
Rush
Simple Plan
Tea Party
Tegan and Sara
Theory of a Deadman
Ten second epic
Three Days Grace
Tragically Hip
THe Trews
Treble CHarger
Woodhands---most of you wouldn't have heard of these guys but i heard them at bluesfest a few years back and fell in love


the list is nice and alphabeitical too!!! :) anyways, hope you enjoyed.

xoxoxo Becca

I'm Back

Hello readers.  I feel like i should apologize once again for taking a four month hiatus. so I'm sorry. that's the last and final time i apologize...i promise.  Anyways....in light of school starting and me having to run all over Ottawa to get to the random bookstores that my teacher's ordered my books from....i started thinking about books, and i could talk for ages about them. I am addicted to buying them and i am not ashamed to admit i spend more time reading than i do anything else in a day. However, to keep some readers from growing bored by my obsession and passion for books, i will talk about the related topic of movies....my brain makes that jump...hopefully yours does too. So here's a list of my top 10 favourite movies (p.s. i hate how if i spell favorite the Canadian way (favourite) it comes up as a spelling mistake). Perhaps when you are bored and have nothing better to do you can come back to this list and pick a movie to watch...and either critique and mock my taste or find a fine piece of cinema to add to your collection.

The list:

• Dracula.   I'm sure this comes as no surprise to those who read my post on this history of vampires. I do have a near obsession with them. But i feel i should clarify. Dracula is a classic and irreplaceable piece of literature that has helped mold the novel into what it is today. Dracula is studied still and praised for it's literary genius.  Now to get to the movie....the only version of this movie that i will watch again is the Dracula that was made in 1931 directed by Tod Browning.  It stars Bela Lugosi as Dracula and Helen Chandler as Mina. This movie sticks to the book's plot line well and the actors do a great job of bringing the characters to life. The version of Dracula that I'm sure most of you have seen was made in the 90's, and stars Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder. This movie is sad...really. they change the plot of the book, and change the aspect of Mina's character so much that it sickens me.  SO i would never recommend that one, but the one from the 1930's is defiantly solid. 
• Thelma and Louise. I'm sure this one comes as no surprise either. But there is just something about two women, saying screw you to the patriarchal world and becoming bad-asses along the way just get my blood pumping. My favourite part of the movie is when Thelma and Louise punish the perverted Truck Driver and teach him a lesson he sure isn't soon to forget. It is a feminist classic, and a movie very close to my heart.
• Nightmare before Christmas. my favourite animated movie ever. Halloween just happens to be my favourite holiday of sorts. This merges Halloween and Christmas together, two amazing holidays two very different back-stories. The combination of a love story, and a feeling of dissatisfaction and identity crisis combined makes me love this movie even more. Is it weird that i am attracted to an animated character? Jack Skellington is my soul mate, I'm almost certain lol. 
• Bridesmaids. This movie is hilarious. It contains the right amount of humor with some seriousness that keeps a person captivated. And the feeling of losing a best friend is something everyone has to deal with. Whether it's because that friend is getting married, moving away, or just that you are slipping away, it is something we have to deal with. Defiantly a solid comedy.
• Kick-ass. I have always been partial to super-hero movies. But this one has a twist. I love the nerdy characters that suck it up and contain deep courage. I love the modern twist on the superhero thing.  The evil guy isn't a person bitter over an experiment accident, he is a mafia leader. Plus the daughter-father dynamic that is portrayed and explored in the movie is awesome. 
• Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was revolutionary in its time and is still found shocking to some people. A room full of transvestites is sure to be a good time. explore the boundaries of sexuality and go to the "late night, double feature, picture show."
• Charlie's Angels. Three girls, kicking-ass....nuff said! 
• Edward Scissorhands. If you haven't been able to tell yet i like movies with a twist...and what a twist this movie puts on suburbia. I love the awkward main character and the fact that women throw themselves on him. Johnny Deep plays the part awesomely, and the movie is so awesome. 
• Sweeney Todd. a musical, yes i know. And i should inform you that i love musicals, but this one has a special place in my heart. it is dark and twisted and, like my favourite play, Phantom of the Opera, has a scared and tortured soul as its lead character. plus Snape is in there too,....being a perverted old man...love it. the meat pies are a nice touch too.
• Watchmen. Super-hero movie...with a hell of a twist. it blurs the lines between good and evil, showing that even super-hero's have a dark side, and no one is either entirely good or evil. I love movies like this, that make you question perceptions of things that you have taken for granted your entire existence. 

Anywho...that's my list and let me know if you agree, or disagree with any of my choices....and be warned i will defend some of them vehemently 

xoxoxoxo Becca