Friday, May 17, 2013

Dating...

Hello Readers!

I hope that your lives are going well, especially your love lives, which is what I'm going to be talking about today. Now, it is kind of important that you understand where I'm coming from here. My last "real" relationship ended about a year ago, and while I have gone on several dates, and saw a few guys for more than a couple weeks, something always went wrong and I have remained single.

I love being single, don't get me wrong. I enjoy it, and love going out with my girlfriends (most of whom are single as well) and having a great night, dancing with whomever we please. That part is awesome, but life does get a little lonely. I'm not actively seeking a relationship, really, but I felt like I needed to expand my methods in trying to meet people. The whole bar scene is sketchy and being perfectly honest, even if I do give my number to a guy at the end of the night, I rarely get a text from him the next day, and even if I happen to, I usually don't respond. It's like an unspoken code. It is a nice gesture made by a guy at the end of the night to make a girl feel less....used I suppose, but it is not really ever going to go anywhere. That being said, my parents met at a bar and have been married now for 23 years. I don't know if times have changed of if people have changed, or if my expectations and standards are just too high.

Another place to supposedly meet people is in school. This is a great idea, in theory. As someone taking the same class as you must have at least a few common interests, such as whatever subject you are taking. Now while in high school, this was how I met my first boyfriend, in University it becomes a little more difficult. I admit as soon as i sit down in a new class, I scope out the attractive men in the room, and sadly my program (while having more men than others) is very woman dominated--which is great, but not for finding male companionship. Also, the class sizes are generally bigger than they were in high school, and even if they are small there is a division. This past year I was a terrible person, and did not try to make many new friends. I was in third year, and it just so happened that I had at least one friend in most of my courses. This meant that I had no real reason to socialize with other people, which probably closed me off to many opportunities for friendships.  While I did make a few new friends this year, it was because they started talking to me and my friend(s) first, so then we welcomed them. When having a friend in class you don't have to put yourself out there. Also, I fret about hitting on a guy and finding out that he has a girlfriend, I don't know why but that would really bother me. I've been hit on when I've had a boyfriend, and it was no big deal, but when the situation is reversed, I feel extremely uncomfortable. So I take the approach of talking to them, neutrally, hoping to find out if they have a significant other or not. This takes time, and can sometimes be a waste. For example. There was this guy, lets call him Mark. So Mark was in two of my classes this past semester. We seemed to get along really well, and he meshed with my friends really well too. Perfect, right? So I went about trying to find out if he had a girlfriend. I'd ask him like, "How was your weekend?" "Do anything exciting?" for Valentine's day I asked him if he was doing anything, and in all those questions he never once mentioned having a girlfriend. So by this point I had decided to make my move, because it the coast was clear. So then it happened, I flirted blatantly and he threw the girlfriend in my face. I was blindsided by this, as I thought I had figured him out. (Also, in a side note. While most people think putting their relationships on Facebook is stupid, I'm an advocate for it, just so single girls like me can creep and see if you are single and free). SO obviously my method of finding out about a potential girlfriend is lacking.

So, where does that leave me? School doesn't seem to work, and I will not depend on the bar scene. A friend of mine recommended online dating. I was/ and am still extremely skeptical of this forum, but I decided to give it a try. Now, I'm not at a point to start paying for someone to match me with someone else, so I wasn't going to go on a dating site where you had to pay for it, I'm super cheap. So there's a free one that my friend had tried, so I decided to follow in her footsteps (she found her present boyfriend on that site). Now, there are a lot of creepy guys that are just looking for sex, or old men looking for a lot younger women, so beware. I've had no real luck as of yet (as I'm still single) but I think it is a alright place to meet people. My philosophy to using the site is that I get to creep people in advance, knowing what they are generally into and doing with their lives, (and knowing that they are single) and after exchanging a few messages, I want to meet. I'm not going to be one of those people who will message a stranger for a year online before meeting them. I give the guy about a week of chatting, and then if he hasn't already asked me out, I do it (yay aggressive women). If the guy doesn't want to, or cancels on me more than once, I cut him lose. I'm not looking for someone to chat with on the computer. I use the site as a initial meeting point. As mentioned above, I'm still skeptical of online dating, and if it doesn't go anywhere I wouldn't be surprised.

There, my dirty little secret is out now. Have you ever tried online dating? Or would you ever consider it? Let me know in the comments, or just tell me any date stories that you may have. I have some horrible ones myself--but that can be a post for a later date.

I guess I'll just have to wait for my true love, Tom Hiddleston, to come and sweep me off my feet....sigh.

xoxoxo
Becca

P.S. I started another blog years ago, which didn't end up going anywhere. I've decided to change it into a forum where I talk about movies I've seen and books I've read. If that interests you, go check it out:
http://reallifeinmypretendworld.blogspot.ca




2 comments:

  1. I've never personally been interested in online dating, but I've never seen anything wrong with it. Maybe I should start haha, been single waaaaaay too long now :p

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  2. A friend of mine started, and she had some success, it was mostly started as a joke, but now I'm kinda sticking with it just to see if it goes anywhere. No luck so far. Kinda what I'm feeling, that I've been single for too long. Ohh and I'm glad you started blogging! It is entertaining, sometimes.

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